Henry Ford once said, “Whether you think you can, or whether you think you can’t, you’re right.” There’s so much wisdom built up in this one sentence because it’s true. No matter what you set out to achieve in life, a lack of self-confidence will almost always set you up for failure. If you don’t believe in yourself, who will? The problem is that, similar to self-love and genuine happiness, achieving total, unconditional self-confidence is an internal struggle. It's a challenge to merely wake up in the morning with a smile on your face, let alone feel 100 percent invincible. Understand that becoming more self-confident can be difficult, but it's not impossible, and most people are not self-confident by nature. That being said, however, you can definitely explore how to be more confident in your everyday life simply by implementing a few minor changes.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again: change your mind, change your world. Most of us don't even realize just how much power our minds have over us and the way we live our lives. Take a moment to consider how many times a day you say "I can't," or "That's too hard." We burrow into the negative because self-doubt and criticism is easy; for some reason, unequivocal belief in oneself is hard.
Self-confidence doesn't come naturally, but it is something that can be taught and practiced. Here are a few ways to become more confident in your everyday life.
1Start By Saying "Hi"
In my opinion, one of the most intimidating situations I've ever experienced was being in a crowded room of strangers and struggling to come up with something to say.
I think we've all been there — whether in a group setting, or one-on-one with someone we're unfamiliar with. But the way I see it, every friend you have now was a stranger to you at some point. So if you tend to get overwhelmed in these types of situations, Dr. Sean D. Young, professor of psychology at UCLA School of Medicine, suggests you start small by saying hi to strangers.
He tells Elite Daily,
Say hi to a stranger when you walk by someone if you're trying to overcome shyness.
Then reflect on having accomplished what you planned to do. That's what I call a neurohack.
2Get Comfortable With Being Uncomfortable
I guess this one is kind of a no-brainer, but it's also something no one wants to hear. The only way any of us can learn how to be confident in situations that would otherwise make us feel awkward or inferior, is to dive headfirst into the unknown and feel OK doing so.
Dr. Danielle Forshee, LLC tells Elite Daily that the more we adapt to and become comfortable in our surroundings, the less likely we are to branch out of them. This behavior creates what Forshee refers to as "neural pathways" that make us complacent.
If we don’t stretch ourselves on a regular basis and do things that make us uncomfortable, we will not create new neural pathways, and different ways of seeing the world and ourselves.
Confidence is bolstered by our ability to show ourselves that we are capable and competent in our environment, in ways that are not a typical part of our routine.
3Give Yourself The Credit You Deserve
I could easily say to you, "You're awesome, don't let anyone tell you otherwise." But until you list at least three things you genuinely love or admire about yourself, chances are you won't believe me anyway.
Self-confidence is just another form of of self-love, and in order to achieve either, you need to be able to recognize and own your strengths.
Heather Monahan, a women’s empowerment and business expert, mentor, and speaker, tells Elite Daily that everyone has a favorite attribute about themselves that should be identified and appreciated. If you're unsure of what your best trait may be, Monahan suggests asking a friend to point it out for you.
4Don't Be Afraid To Ask For What You Want
There's cocky, and then there's confidence. Contrary to popular belief, the two are not synonymous.
You don't have to be bratty to get what you want, but you do have to present yourself in a way that means business. Stand up straight, look people in the eye, and let them know you won't take no for an answer (at least, within reason).
Monahan is absolutely correct when she says that in life, you'll only ever receive what you have the courage to ask for. "If you don't," she adds, "someone else will."
5Pump Yourself Up
Whenever I'm in dire need of a confidence boost, I always call my husband or mom for a quick pep talk. It's great to be able to phone a friend before a job interview or presentation, but just in case your lifelines aren't available, you should have a few words of advice or a pump-up playlist to get your confidence up and running.
"Before I walk into any task, I get my mind right," Monahan tells Elite Daily. "For me, that is channeling Beyoncé’s Sasha Fierce. Listen to music that fires you up, think of a time when you achieved something beyond your dreams; grab onto that feeling and let it shine through you."
6Be Mindful Of Negative Self-Talk
Now that we've come up with a few talking points to resort to when we're feeling particularly self-conscious, it's high time we address negative self-talk.
We're all guilty of this one. When we're presented with a situation or task we feel goes beyond our skill set, our initial reaction is to focus on our weaknesses rather than play to our strengths. It's true that nobody's perfect, and not everyone is going to excel at everything. The least we can do is try our best, and realize that failure is not a sign of weakness; it is an opportunity to learn something new.
Jamie Price, wellness expert & co-founder of Stop, Breathe & Think suggests that we write down the negative commentary running through our heads.
He tells Elite Daily,
If [your thoughts] are counter productive, take a few moments to reframe them into more helpful ways of thinking.
The simple change of something like 'I have no discipline,' to 'Discipline has been challenging for me but I’m working on it,' can have a significant impact.
7Embrace Your Quirks
If you can honestly say you're proud of your quirks and the sum of unique qualities that make you who you are, you're halfway there. As Madeline Familia would say, "embrace the cosmopolitan in you."
The CEO and founder of Creative Voices PR tells Elite Daily it is so important to "embrace what makes you different."
Whether it is your hair texture, skin color, accent, body, and culture, love all of your unique qualities and never compare yourself to others.
Once you embrace your unique attributes, you will have a better relationship with, and more positive appreciation of yourself.
Our individuality is what makes each and every one of us special. When you can embrace what makes you different, others will, too.
8Channel Positive Energy
Ever heard of the law of attraction? I know this may come off as super new-agey and overtly spiritual, but I personally do believe that the energy you give is the energy you receive.
There's a reason "good vibes" are a thing, my friends. It's not a cliche, and it goes way beyond the stereotypical hippie mantra. Positive energy is a mindset.
According to motivational speaker and philanthropist Soulaima Gourani, having a "live" sense of energy is important when it comes to developing self-confidence.
She tells Elite Daily,
People feed off of energy. If you show excitement and joy, that energy can transfer onto the receiver, making you appear and ultimately feel more confident.
Meditation helps you hone in on the inner workings of your mind. When you're trying to shed some light on your insecurities, sometimes all you need is a quiet space and a lot of introspective focus.
Gustavo Oliveira, a consultant at The DeRose Method, tells Elite Daily,
Meditation can help you develop self-awareness, which in turn will help you learn how to study yourself, and allow you to see where your insecurities may stem from.
Daily meditation can help you realize what exactly is it that triggers your fears and low self-confidence. Once you recognize what those triggers are, you work to reshape your attitudes and your behaviors.
Sweep your arms overhead, bring your hands to heart center, and repeat after me: Namaste confident all day.