Tell me if this sounds familiar: You’re hanging out with someone, just minding your own business, when suddenly they lean in for a kiss — an unwanted one. It's time to make a decision, and you don’t have a lot of time to make it. Do you bob and weave and dodge like a heavyweight champ? Or do you freeze and just let it happen to avoid being rude? While you never owe anyone a kiss, there are times when knowing how to avoid a kiss more subtly can come in handy. Maybe it's someone you like a lot, just not in that way, but whose feelings you don’t want to hurt. Or maybe you're in a situation where you don't feel safe rejecting them outright. In situations like that, having a backup plan will save you some major awkwardness and prevent you from feeling like you can't maintain your body autonomy.
OK, before we dig into the kiss-avoidance tactics, I'd just like to take a moment to remind you that you do not ever owe anyone a kiss. Your body is yours, including your lips, and no one else is entitled to it. These tactics are just meant to offer you more options to avoid doing something you'd prefer not to do, depending on the situation, and not to reinforce the idea that you have to sacrifice your sovereignty in order to be polite. OK, feminist rant over. Here are some savvy ways to dodge unwanted smooches.
When it comes to avoiding an unwanted kiss, it’s all about location, location, location. Meaning, make sure your location is a good distance away from theirs. Keeping some space between the two of you will prevent the moment from feeling "right," will make it harder for them to move in for a kiss to begin with, and will give you more time to see it coming to avoid it.
Hey, it’s cold and flu season. Time to use that to your advantage. If you sense they are about to make their move, it’s your moment to deploy a faux cough. If they think you are contagious, they are less likely to want to put their mouth on your mouth. If they still seem unfazed, you can opine about your poor friend who has the worst flu right now and say you hope you haven't caught it. Kiss dodged.
There are some times when the person catches you off guard and, before you have time to leap out of the way, they are in your face. In those situations, you can always go for the hug instead. It's not ideal by any means, but it's better than a kiss. Simply move your head to the side, lean into the hug, and then push back and make your exit.
This one may be a bit more obvious, but you can always go for the, "Oh! My phone is buzzing!” and step back if you feel someone moving in for an unwanted kiss good night. It's possible they will see through this tactic, but it buys you time and physical space to move away from them. Also, they'll hopefully just take the hint and you can keep it moving.
If they are suddenly in your face giving you "the look,” that means they are making their move. Look over their shoulder and act like you see something confusing or interesting — bonus points if there is actually something there. When they turn to look, step back and change the subject and the mood.
Since the best defense is always a good offense, make sure to avoid the stereotypical kiss moments. At the end of the date, don’t linger saying goodbye. Instead, thank them for a nice night and duck into your door as quickly as possible.
If they are already coming in for the kiss, drop something. Ooopsie, better pick that up! Step back, grab whatever you dropped, and then put some space between you. Oftentimes, just disrupting "the moment" is enough to prevent the kiss.
Listen, this one is a Hail Mary. You don't even owe someone the cheek, but sometimes turning the cheek to avoid a full-on kiss is your best option.
If someone is suddenly all up in your grill, you need to buy some time. Use their proximity to your advantage by getting "distracted" by something on their face, like an eyelash. Pretend to pick it off and then step back and away from them.
Need an emergency exit? Sneeze. No one wants a face full of spit and snot, so they will do the work of moving away for you. Several sneezes in a row followed by a, "I hope I didn't catch my sister’s cold," is usually enough to kill any mood, no matter how persistent the would-be kisser may be.
Being put in a situation where you have to turn down a kiss is always really awkward, but having some go-to tactics can help make it less so. But if someone refuses to take a hint and keeps trying to lay one on you, don't be afraid to be direct. As women, we face a lot of pressure to be polite, accommodating, and nice. Well, screw that, especially when it comes to autonomy over your own body. Your lips belong to you and you alone.
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