Feeling Fulfilled Without A Relationship Is Absolutely Possible & Here's How To Do It


I would say that I am pretty good at being fulfilled without being in a relationship. This is not a humblebrag, I'm just usually single. I typically whine about my singledom because I feel like I'm supposed to. Often, I've convinced myself that if I'm not in a relationship, it's because nobody "picked me." But when great people have come into my life, I actually have a really hard time letting go of my independence and adjusting my life to fit in with that of another person (#selfish). Is feeling fulfilled without being in a relationship in my DNA?

Hot take: Maybe we're all just different people with different priorities. Maybe whether or not a relationship is fulfilling to you has something to do with your needs and wants at a particular moment of your life. If I have to venture a guess, I'd say that there's probably a 50/50 split among women when it comes to those who feel they need a relationship to have a full life, and those who don't feel they need to be in a relationship to be fulfilled. I've had best friends who are serial monogamists, while I am seriously unable to commit.

I decided to check in with real women, both on Reddit and from secret groups I am a part of on Facebook. (Secret groups are the only nontoxic part of Facebook, and I highly recommend you check them out.) Here's what eight women had to say about feeling fulfilled without a relationship.

1. This Woman Reminds Us That Happiness Comes In Many Forms


Honestly, eating a bag of chips in my underwear and watching Queer Eye on Netflix brings me joy and fulfillment, so I hear this.

2. This Woman's Fulfillment Just Doesn't Come From People At All


Amen, friend. Having your own sense of fulfillment from within is ultimate #goals.

3. This Woman Calls Herself A Relationship Anarchist


I admire this honesty. When I really think about it, I do personally desire companionship at times, but I feel like I often beat myself up for being single because society told me being in a relationship is the right thing to do. Anarchy lives!

4. This Woman Breaks It Down Perfectly

— Anonymous

I like this woman's attitude of being open to the right person, while still being OK with her independent lifestyle. I don't mind my own company either. In fact, I sort of relish my time alone, despite being an extrovert on the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator.

5. This Woman Reminds Us The Grass Is Always Greener


As a single person, I can fall asleep with the TV on if I want. I can decide to move to Peru! I can flirt with that cutie bartender! Freedom is fun!

6. This Woman Feels Fulfilled By Her Friends


This is how I have felt most of my life. When my friends are around, I never feel like I need a boyfriend. However, as I've gotten older and my friends have paired off in more serious ways, that desire to have a companion creeps in.

7. This Woman Has Seen The Negative Side Of Relationships


This is very modern, and I commend her attitude and open-mindedness, given all that she's gone through.

8. This Woman Reminds Us It's Important To Be Single Sometimes


There is no shame in constantly being in relationships, just as there is no shame in constantly being single. That said, I think, as with all things in life, if you find yourself gravitating toward a comfort zone, break it. That's when the growth happens. I have friends who seem to lose their entire sense of themselves when they are single for the first time in a while, and I have had trouble opening up because I have very little sense of myself in a relationship. I think the most important thing is to keep challenging yourself to break the pattern and get out there — whether that means dating someone, dating no one, or just taking yourself on a trip somewhere alone. To be single is not less than having a partner.

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