When you're dating someone, you adjust to them being in your every day life, and how they fit into your world. But when it comes to meeting their family, and going home with them for the holidays, that could change everything. You may see your partner in a whole new light, or learn things about their life outside of you. Also, spending time together with their family for the holidays invites a level of seriousness into the relationship that is something to consider before taking that step. This spring, if you're ready, bring your partner home for Easter or Passover to take that next step together in your relationship.
Determining if or when you should be bringing your significant other home for the holidays is difficult to figure out: What if you don't want to rope them into possible family drama? Does your partner observe a different religion and are you scared of them feeling out of place? Are you confident that your relationship is long-term enough to introduce them to your whole family? Simply, there isn't an exact timeline to follow or calendar day to mark from date one-onwards to solidify whether or not your relationship is bring-home-for-the-holidays kind of ready.
Hannah, 24, was a freshman in college when her boyfriend of five months broke up with her while they were on their way to her cousin's Passover seder. The couple were picking out hors d'oeuvres for the meal when he told Hannah he wanted a break. "I don't think that five months is necessarily too soon to celebrate holidays together, but I do wish that I had considered if our relationship was fully ready for that kind of milestone," Hannah tells Elite Daily.
Therapist Nicole Richardson told Elite Daily that different families have different expectations when someone brings a significant other home: some would only want to meet that person if marriage is approaching, and some view bringing a partner home as an "initiation" of sorts.
When New Yorker Maddie, 24, had been dating her boyfriend Cory in the Marines (based in Southern California) for three months, they decided to meet in the middle in Michigan to see each other at her parent's house for Thanksgiving. The pair talked about moving in together, and Maddie wanted her family to meet him before they made that next step.
Logistics played a big role in the decision: finding a time that wasn't a holiday for Cory to meet her family would've proved difficult for them both.
"My family is super chill," Maddie tells Elite Daily. "Cory is super chill. It was all around a good time, and nothing bad came from it, and everyone seemed to enjoy the experience."
Maddie and Cory's making plans for their future could be a testament as to why Cory coming home for the holiday was a good idea.
"Do you see the possibility of a future together?" therapist Allison Abrams told Elite Daily. "If so, and if it would make you happy to introduce your partner to your family, it never hurts to ask [about bringing them home].” It's also important to prepare your partner, if the holiday they're going home to is not one they observe. Make sure you walk them through any rituals that may be asked to participate in that could seem kind of weird to an outsider, like opening the door for Elijah to join the seder, or an Easter egg hunt.
E.B., 23, had been in a relationship for less than a month when her partner invited her home for Thanksgiving. "I was pretty nervous considering that the relationship was new and it felt like a huge step, but I was also excited about the idea of not being alone during the holidays," E.B. told Elite Daily. She felt conflicted over the potential for awkwardness, due to her political disagreements with the holiday.
Looking back, E.B. isn't sure she was ready to go home to meet her partner's family so early on in the relationship when they were figuring out their status as a couple. But, she's returned to spend three Thanksgivings and three Christmases with her partner.
"I just remember leaving the trip that first visit thinking that I wish I'd asked my partner's mom more questions, and kept being really hard on myself thinking it was awkward," E.B. says. She struggled keeping up a good first impression and being herself, which is definitely a relatable concern when meeting your partner's family in such a formal setting, such as a holiday.
So while there is no rule-of-thumb number of days, weeks, or months to be dating before going home for the holidays, check in with your partner and see what makes sense for you.
Says Richardson, "If you both feel excited about the relationship and agree that meeting the family is the next step, then you guys are ready."
Check out the entire Gen Why series and other videos on Facebook and the Bustle app across Apple TV, Roku, and Amazon Fire TV.
Check out the “Best of Elite Daily” stream in the Bustle App for more stories just like this!