Being a wingwoman is a lady's way of trying to help out a friend. And while the role has nothing to do with aviation, some of us still manage to crash and burn when we take flight. It's not our fault, but you'll know the signs you're a bad wingwoman, because things will always seem to steer off course and you're left awkwardly sipping your Cosmopolitan alone at the bar.
When you're not the best wingwoman, it's like your good intentions are there but they're not enough to let you soar to victory. It's almost like your wings are clipped once you're in full swing of attempting to reel one in, and you do more damage than if you would have just stayed put. These wingwoman catastrophes make for hilarious stories, because at the end of the day, it's all in good fun.
It takes charisma and wit to be a successful wingwoman, and you definitely have all of those things, but for some reason when it's go time, you're left flapping for dear life. Normally, your ladies will tell you if you're not the best wingwoman, but if you're in denial of your lack of skills, then you won't be able to check off the boxes next to any of these signs.
Can somebody say "damage control?" Because women are good at sensing just about everything, your friend knows that once you scarcely managed to blurt out an introduction, you're in trouble. Whether it's your darting eyes or nervously tapping fingers, she doesn't need a smoke signal to recognize your SOS and save the day.
Corny jokes are funny when you're telling it to someone who actually knows you. Starting off with these in a wingwoman attempt is risky business, because you really don't know how the person is taking it on the other end. If corny jokes is your go-to and not your last resort, chances are, you're overestimating your wingwoman skills.
Even if you are out on this wingwoman voyage to help your friend get over someone, you never reveal that to the target — literally, not even in a playful way or to compare how much better looking he is than the ex. That's way too personal of a topic to bring up in such a carefree space. But when we are scrounging for anything to say, the topic might tend to be blurted out.
Yes, there are secret codes and cues in the art of being a wingwoman. You just happen to forget them when you need to use them most.
Was it one wink for "yes" and two winks for "no?" Or am I supposed flip my hair? Forgetting your cues with your gal pal has everyone confused and your target will be exiting stage right in a hurry.
It's OK to be confident, but the magical wonders of a pep talk get you even more on your game. If you're the type to charge right in and freeze up in the beginning, you needed that pep talk. It's fine to get excited about potentially hooking your friend up with someone, but it couldn't hurt to hear some words of encouragement.
So, you've got your girl and this guy talking, but you're still standing there like the lonely third musketeer. Clearly, you friend can't end her conversation to tell you to dip, because she's really hitting it off. Entering the convo is important, but knowing when to pass the torch is crucial.
Ladies, we all know how rehabilitating it is to chat with your gal in the bathroom. When you don't excuse yourself for bathrooms breaks while you're in full swing wingwoman mode, you're forcing your friend to go in blind once it's time for her to step in. She'll have to play catch up, because she has no basis to what has been said so far, how the guy is, and where you left off. It's all a steamy hot mess.
The trick about being a successful wingwoman is to be charismatic enough to reel him in, but not flirty enough to make him think that you're the one who's interested. Clearly, you're not trying to swoop in on the cutie who has your friend's eye, but because you're nervous, you resort to every lady's hidden superpower: charm. That charm can be completely misunderstood, and before you know it, he's asking for your number and not your friend's.
Some ladies are natural at being a wingwoman, and for others, the struggle is too real. Ultimately, as long as ladies are helping ladies, we can't complain.
