Take a moment to think about your friend group. If someone were to meet them and talk with them (or creep on their social media), what impression do you think they would get about you? The reviews would probably be pretty mixed, but also fairly accurate. Yes, they would likely see the positives about you, but a look at your friend group might also give off some "tell them after the third date" kind of things, too. This is exactly why, when you start dating someone new, looking for red flags about someone's friend group could give you a clearer picture of who they really are — both positively and negatively.
The reason this is helpful is because we tend to surround ourselves with people who share our same values, beliefs, and lifestyles. So it follows that paying attention to whom someone chooses to be around in their life also sheds light on their own attitudes and behaviors. Plus, when you first start dating someone, they will, of course, be trying to put their best foot forward, while hiding things they think you may not like. Friends, on the other hand, don't have an agenda, so it's easier to get a peek behind the curtain. Most of the things you will learn in the process will be benign or even positive, but there are some things you can lean from their crew that could be deal breakers. Here are the red flags to watch out for.
While it’s certainly possible to be relationship-oriented and still hang with all single friends, it does make it a lot harder. It may be that they are the first person in their friend group who has reached the stage where they want to be cuffed up, but it also means they will likely have to deal with a lot of pressure to join in the single shenanigans. That’s obviously the best case scenario, though.
On the other hand, another implication of someone only having single friends is that this person may not be ready for something serious. Of course, that's not to say someone can't go out with a group of single friends and stay loyal. The bottom line? Just be cautious.
While your date may not be laughing at them in front of you, it’s a pretty safe bet that, when you aren’t there, they could very well be joining in on those jokes — or even making some themselves. By choosing to associate with folks who think that gross, prejudice jokes are funny or acceptable, they are telling you that either they don’t care about either of these topics or they agree with them. Drop this fool immediately.
Does your date’s crowd give off a total player vibe? If that's the case, it could mean that, when you’re not there, your date is the same way. Plus, serial cheating crowds will always cover for one another, and it creates a whole culture of infidelity that you probably want to just go ahead and avoid.
They say you are the company you keep, and if that company is chilling on the couch all day every day, not working to better themselves and achieve their goals, then it’s likely your date shares that work ethic. Not cute.
While not everyone has a super gender-diverse friend group, what you should be looking out for is a friend group that is totally exclusive based on gender. Is your date a guy who is only friends with guys? We may have a chauvinist bro on our hands. Or maybe they only hang with girls? Chances are, they are a player or you’ll be in competition with at least one of those girls. The same goes for women who say things like, “I’m only friends with guys because girls are just drama/jealous.”
Hey, we all like to turn up. But if your date’s friends seem incapable of turning down every once in a while, you’ve got a party monster on your hands. Is that something you really want to be a part of? If yes, proceed. But if you want to spend some quality time getting your Netflix on, then honey, they ain’t the one for you.
It’s a massive read flag when any questions about your date's friend group get shut down. If they are keeping their crew top secret, that could be because they are hiding something or they're ashamed about something.
This may sound harsh, but unless your date just recently moved here from far away, they should have at least a friend or two as a character reference. Having absolutely no friends? Well, that's not great. Maybe they're just a little socially awkward, but they could also be the type of person who only needs one friend: you. And that kind of relationship is a ton of pressure.
While the saying may be cliche, birds of a feather typically do flock together, and even though your date may be able to hide their unsavory side for a while, looking at their friend group can give you insight into who they really are and help you spot any serious red flags early.
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