Your self-growth includes the people you surround yourself with. So, you can imagine how much your perception and expectations of friendship changes over time, even if you don't notice it at first. When you were little, the first person who shared their scented markers with you was your bestie for life. Now, there's so much more to categorizing someone as a true friend. I'm proud of the way I perceive friends now, because the best decisions I made in my friendships in my 20s is going to benefit me in the long run.
My friendship senses weren't tingling or anything when I turned 20. There isn't a radioactive spider that crawls into your life when it's time for you to truly consider what you need in a friend. (Your friendship epiphanies may be dramatic, but not that dramatic.) In your 20s, living your best life means that you are making the most of your time, on your own terms. Your friends should enhance this decade of your life.
Can you have a heart-to-heart with your friends? Is the want to hang out mutual? Questions like these will guide your decisions about your friendships in your 20s. I can't say when you'll start making your own adjustments, but these eight decisions have genuinely changed my friendships for the better.
Bigger is not better when it comes to your friend group. You realize this so much in your 20s. The ones who are meant to stay have stayed. How valued you are isn't measured by how many people are in your friend group. Quality is everything.
I used to think all of my friends needed to be together all of the time, or I wasn't being loyal to them. Now, I cherish the one-on-one time I have with each one of my best friends. Birds of a feather do flock together, but they don't have to always be around one another on the regular in order to soar.
Even if my friends have their own drama, I'll listen to it, but I don't entertain it. Your friends should't be bringing exhausting dramatics into your life. If they need to vent about a situation that doesn't involve you, so be it. You're not there to have a role in it, though.
Letting emotions fester doesn't do anything for a friendship. If there's a disagreement, I talk it out before it unnecessarily turns into something much bigger. This has a lot to do with being honest and open.
In high school and even the first part of college, dating was confusing. When things started to get serious, I wasn't sure if that meant we should link together our friend groups. These days, my SO and I respect each other's friend groups, but aren't trying to force everyone together to hang out just because we're a couple.
In my 20s, I've made a vow to my single friends that I won't try to set them up. Solo doesn't mean they're lonely. Your friends aren't looking to get set up with whoever just because they're single. Some of them genuinely like their status.
I could give my friend a gift card, but what fun is that? You should want your friends to experience the most out of life. For their birthdays or Christmas gifts, I try to give my friends the chance to try something new that they've always wanted to. If we can do it together, that's even better!
Your friends have a past, and so do you. If they've trusted you enough to share theirs with you, listen and leave it alone. Don't bring it up in an argument or judge them for it. Their past isn't who they are.
Your view is changing, but that doesn't mean your friends have to. The real ones are growing with you.
