One common bit of advice you've likely heard about going on a first date is to play it cool and avoid coming off as too eager. While that's not bad advice, it doesn't tell you what to do if you end up liking your date and want to see them again. This is why knowing the ways to let your date know you’re into them is so important, because a great date deserves a follow-up.
If the whole concept leaves you confused and frustrated, you're not alone according to Cherlyn Chong, dating and breakup coach and host of the Why Women Love Toxic Men Workshop. "Most of us aren't that great at dating, it's not like we have lots of practice to begin with!" she tells Elite Daily. In other words, if you’re nervous about dating, take it easy on yourself. The good news is that it doesn't need to be hard to let someone know you enjoy their company and wouldn't mind seeing them again. Here's how the experts say you can do just that.
Be curious about getting to know them.
If you're interested in seeing your date again, one easy way to signal this — that will also improve the overall vibe of the date — is to show your curiosity about getting to know them better, as Diana Dorell, intuitive dating coach and author of The Dating Mirror: Trust Again, Love Again, tells Elite daily. “Ask them questions about themselves that you're genuinely curious about — everyone loves to talk about themselves!” she explains. “It indicates that you're interested and puts them at ease.”
Touch their hand.
Sometimes the smallest gestures can say everything, and simply touching your date's hand can be a subtle but highly effective way of showing you’re interested in them. “Light touches create a deeper connection and more intimacy,” says Dorrell. “It's subtly stimulating, engaging [their] sense of touch, sight, and sound.”
It doesn’t have to be full-on, just a brief contact is best, says Chong. And timing is also important. "Don’t necessarily grab their hand and hold it,” she explains. "Reach out for a touch or squeeze when they say something that invites your compassion or your celebration.”
Keep your body language open.
Body language is a powerful tool at your disposal, so put yours to work when you’re on a date. If you want your date to know you're interested in seeing them again, say so with open body language, advises Dorrell. “Keep your arms and legs uncrossed. [Crossing them] indicates that you're closed off. So keep yourself open!” she says.
Stay present on the date.
Nothing says I'm not feeling you more than allowing yourself to be distracted on your date. Fortunately, the opposite is true as well. By staying present and focusing attention on your date, you're telling them that you enjoy their company and genuinely want to get to know them. Intimacy expert Allana Pratt says to stay present on the date and show it in the way you engage in conversation. “When you don’t ask another question based on what they just said, it says you’re not listening or don’t care. Simply paying attention and saying ‘Tell me more’ deepens intimacy and enhances connection,” she tells Elite Daily.
Be honest about your desire to see them again.
While there are lots of subtle ways of communicating that you're into someone, sometimes being direct is the best policy, particularly at the end of the date, says Pratt. If you like them and want to see them again, say so, she advises. “Be straight up that you had a great time and you’d love to see them again,” Pratt says, adding that you can also take the initiative and ask them out again.
Dorell agrees, saying, “To just clear the confusion up as to who likes who more, it's just easier to straight out say that we'd love to go on a second date with someone.” While this more straightforward advice may seem a bit nerve-wracking, it's preferable to waiting by the phone and hoping to hear from them again.
Dating's tricky enough without having to play guessing games about how your date feels, but by showing them that you're interested in them along the way can make it easier for them to know where you stand. It might be just the encouragement they need to set up that next date with you before you even have the chance to ask.
Cherlyn Chong, dating and breakup coach and host of the Why Women Love Toxic Men Workshop
Allana Pratt, intimacy expert