5 Confusing Texts You Get After A First Date & What They Really Mean
I'm pretty bad at reading into what things mean. I mean, I definitely read into things, but in all the wrong ways, especially when it comes to dating, and even more so when it comes to messaging. There are so many confusing texts after a first date that come through that it's hard to know where I stand with my crush. Like, am I ever going to see you again, are you my future husband, or are we mortal enemies now?
And I have some more questions regarding the post-first-date texts. Am I supposed to text my date, or are they supposed to text me? Are they supposed to text me that night or wait a few days? And how the hell am I supposed to respond? School did NOT prepare me for this nonsense!
So here are five ambiguous texts you might get after a first date and what they really mean, as explained by Alessandra Conti, Celebrity Matchmaker at Matchmakers In The City. Because sometimes, deciphering messages seems like another language.
1. The Link
I once went on a date with a guy and accidentally talked about conspiracy theories the entire time. "Great," I thought to myself when I got home, "I'm definitely never gonna hear from him again."
Actually, it was quite the opposite. A few hours later, my phone began vibrating with YouTube link after YouTube link of all the conspiracy theory videos my crush was watching, per my suggestion. Was this what love felt like?
When you receive a link to something that you talked about during the date (i.e. an article about the Japan nuclear crisis or a think piece on Kim Kardashian's latest Instagram post), this is a great sign," says Conti. "This shows that A) this [person] is thinking about you and B) [they] follow through with [their] word. Absolutely reply with your thoughts on the article, along with a question to keep the convo going."
Who knew that a link is what can really link you and your crush together?
2. The Winky Face
Ugh. Smiley faces. So hard to read in to. I always question their sincerity, and I guess there's reason to, according to Conti.
"The 'I had fun winky-face emoji' text could be really good or really bad. A winky face on a first text after your first date comes off as flirty if you just had a date with a cool, nice, down-to-Earth [person]," she says. "But, if the [person] tried to get physical with you on the first date, this text is a little red flag that you may have an f*boy on your hands."
So in this case, it's all about the context. She continues, "The other confusing element about this text is that there is no follow-up question and no invitation to further the textual conversation." Yeah! So WTF are you supposed to do?
Well, Conti suggests, "Reply [with] something equally as coy, but neutralize the winky face with an incredibly non-sexual emoji, like the 'nerdy smily face with glasses' emoji or the unicorn emoji. Be playful with [them], but there is no need for you to ask [them] a question; let [them] lead."
Allow yourself to be pursued. You're a prize!
3. The "U Up?"
At this point, you should know that getting a "u up?" text is a bad, bad sign.
"If you receive a 'You up?' text from a [somebody] whom you just had a first date with, kiss the potential of this relationship goodbye. [They are] looking for a quick hookup, not looking for a relationship, and did not see potential with you for anything other than a quick, last-minute shag," says Conti.
If you get this kind of message, then you've entered f*ckboi territory, and it's time to run.
4. The "Nice To Meet You"
Conti explains that there are so many layers to break down in this message. "The most important element of this text is the punctuation. Is there a period after? [They] may be gauging your reaction to see if you were interested in [them], or may just not be too thrilled about the date and is just trying to be polite." she says. "An exclamation? Fabulous. This [person] had a great time and is potentially excited to see you again! No punctuation? Again, gauging your interest so that [they don't] get rejected."
But how can you reply to this without totally taking the reigns in the relationship? "A great response to this is 'You, too! *blushing-smiley face emoji*' This way, [they] got a positive reaction, and [they] can pursue from here," Conti explains.
5. The Paragraph
The best of all texts to receive after a date? A paragraph (assuming that paragraph isn't saying that your date thinks you shouldn't see each other again).
"Start looking at engagement rings; homeboy is sold!" she summarizes.