4 Ways Dating While In A Sorority Is Different Than Dating If You Don't Go Greek
At college, there are many opportunities to meet people to date, as well as events you could bring these dates to. Dating while in a sorority, though, varies from how non-Greek afilliated students date. In a sorority, you have formal events you can bring your partner to, mixers where you can meet frat guys and sorority girls, and even get serious by getting lavaliered — a promise ring of sorts where your significant other gifts you with their organization letters. I personally was in a sorority in college, but dated someone who was not in Greek life. I felt like, in that sense, I had the best of both worlds: I had an evergreen date to sorority formals, but wasn't entangled in fraternity hookup drama.
While some not involved in Greek life may think it has plenty of perks (trust me there are many!), it can also feel restrictive at times when it comes to dating. Depending on which sorority you're involved in, you might feel pressure to maintain good relations with other members of certain fraternities or sororities — including by befriending, hooking up with, and even dating members.
Here's how dating was like for some women in Greek organizations.
Karen*, 25, felt like she had to bring the "right date" to events.
"There was a lot of unspoken pressure to look the best to best represent my organization and to defy stigmas," Karen says about her sorority experience at the College of Charleston. "I did feel pressure to have the right date for parties and formals."
She elaborates that for her, the "right date" meant bringing a guy to an event — straight girls who brought female friends as dates were looked down on a little bit. "It was a lot of pressure to find guys I liked and felt comfortable with to bring to events," she says.
Maddie, 24, never felt pressured to be dating someone to bring to date parties or formals.
Maddie says for her New York University sorority events that allowed a plus one, she would typically bring a date from home or outside of Greek life.
"I always interacted with people of both genders as friends, and it was super fun, but I never felt like a serious relationship was going to come out of hooking up with frat guys," she tells Elite Daily. She says she often drunkenly hooked up with guys at mixers, and thought of it more as a "why not" — there were cute guys around at mixers and parties, she says, so she hooked up with them.
Claire, 21, says there's bound to be dating overlap among sisters.
"Assume the guy you're seeing has slept with at least one of your sorority sisters," Claire, a Drake University senior, tells Elite Daily. "It's just a matter of time before you figure out which one. There's no dibs because we'd run out of people."
At a small school like Claire's, that may be possible. But keep in mind, if the person you're interested in has previously dated someone in your sorority, that doesn't necessarily mean they're off-limits to you.
Daniella, 24, felt like she could bring friends to events as her dates.
At her sorority at NYU, Daniella felt comfortable bringing friends as dates to events, but definitely felt like there was stigma attached once people did it multiple times. "I think other girls saw it as kind of strange," she tells Elite Daily.
"I think there was always a slight pressure to hook up with people at mixers," she says. "I remember a few times older sisters pressuring younger sisters to get with guys."
Daniella experienced that feeling of being restricted to a certain type of people in Greek life, when it came to dating.
"I was exposed to a specific dating pool," Daniella says. "It wasn’t larger, necessarily, it actually kind of felt confined. Because it made me feel like I didn’t have to bother looking elsewhere. [It] sort of clouded my judgment, so I thought that this was all there was."
While at the end of the day, Greek life is a way to meet people and build a bigger community at school, who you date is always up to you.
*Name has been changed at the source's request for privacy concerns.
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