Complaining is an art, and one that I excel at. If I'm in the mood, I can be the Monet of complaints. More than once, I have indulged myself by whining about needing nachos while remaining in my pajamas in bed. Despite having options such as Seamless, or a quick walk down the block available to retrieve those nachos, I sit at home thinking about them instead. Similarly, it's easy to lament your single life while watching Netflix in bed, so why not commit to a New Year's resolution for putting yourself out there?
First, however, is my forever-caveat: single humans do not need to whine about being single. Being single is a wonderful thing. Being single is the relationship status equivalent of going commando — if you're into that — because being single is being totally free. OK, so now that I've reminded you of that, if you are single but looking for something serious, or even just to mingle, why not resolve to take actionable steps to putting yourself out in the world?
Whether putting yourself out there means putting your face on a dating app, putting your body on an intramural sports team, or even putting your bum into a seat on an actual date, I believe in you. Because I believe that specific goals are more achievable than generalized, broad ones, I put together a list of ways in which you can put yourself out there in 2018. Here goes:
1. Start Small: Download A Dating App
Pick a dating app and force yourself to swipe for 10 minutes a day. When you make a match, dare yourself to send the first message. It's a great way to start testing the waters of getting out there.
2. Go Bigger: Set A Quota Of Dates To Go On
I'm in the middle of a 51-date experiment with genuine intentions: sure, maybe to find someone if it happens to work out that way (I'm finally ready for a relationship). But even more so, the intention is to find myself by putting myself out there more. It's too easy to stay home. To be fair, my experiment also incorporates a podcast with a friend, so I have to go on a date each week and it's blowing my mind. I'm realizing that dating is just a numbers game, and that being single has no reflection on what kind of person you are. I highly recommend you try something like this.
3. Go Even Bigger: Ask A Friend To Set You Up
People in relationships love "helping" their single friends. Couples just want to have double dates, I guess? Either way, carefully pick out which of your close friends has the best people-reading skills, and ask them to set you up with a match. Even if it doesn't work out, you'll be going on an OG blind date. I was recently set up by a friend, and upon arrival realized my date was 24 (I'm 29). It was a great date, and had I been on a dating app, I wouldn't have swiped on him because he's outside of my age range. Trust your friends!
4. Go Home: Ask Your Crush Out
Because if you're really trying to put yourself out there, why not just go for it all the way? When I look back on all of the crushes I've had, I realize I've been pretty lucky in getting to date those crushes for a bit. However, when those half-relationships ended, I was often devastated because I had let myself go along with something I knew wasn't working for so long. While I learned a lot from these lengthy experiences, I also sort of wished I had just asked these men out sooner in our friendship, so I could have figured out if we were compatible sooner and without the massive crush of months leading up to it.
The holidays and new year are great reminders that life flies by. (Sorry to be a grinch.) Why not spin that scary thought on its head and use the time you have to do something new, like asking someone out. If that's too scary, start with downloading an app. Maybe message one person on Jan. 1. Hangovers are good times to lie in bed swiping mindlessly. Happy 2018!
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