As an outsider looking in, it's easy to come up with about a million and one
reasons for leaving a relationship behind. But it's harder to see those reasons when you're actually the person in the relationship. In fact, sometimes it's so hard that people can mistake legitimate reasons to leave as excuses for staying. In a recent Reddit AskWomen thread, ladies shared totally valid reasons for leaving that don't always feel so straightforward at first glance.
You're Afraid Nobody Else Will Love You
Because you're convinced nobody else will ever have feelings for you.
You've Already Invested Too Much Into The Relationship
sunk cost. feeling like you've already put in too much to get no ''return on investment'' by walking away, it would be somehow cheating yourself out of ''something to show'' for it.
You Think The Sex Is Great
Because the sex is great even though everything else sucks. Good sex is important, but it doesn’t make up for someone who doesn’t show up emotionally when you need them, doesn’t help around the house, doesn’t treat you well and respect you. It’s unfair to yourself to invest emotionally into someone and be let down everywhere except the bed.
You Don't Want To Be The Only Single One In Your Group
Because all your friends/family are already paired off, and you don't want to do things with them alone.
You're Afraid Of Being Alone
Because you’re afraid to be alone. Being alone has been the best thing for me. Sure, I miss companionship. But being single is worth holding out for someone to treat me like I deserve to be. I actually just ended a 3 month bullsh*t fling yesterday because it was not serving me at all. I feel such a relief.
Your Relationship Is Familiar
Because your relationship is familiar and you don’t want to have to start over
You're Afraid Of Hurting Them
Because you don’t want to hurt them. It will just hurt both of you even more to stay in a relationship one person doesn’t want to be in, in the long run.
You Simply Tolerate Each Other
My last relationship was built on tolerance. Only realized that when I broke up. I really was testing my patience & ever since the breakup I've learned that at this point it's not a "relationship" as much as it's a "personal record"
You Can't Imagine Them With Anyone Else
Some people stay because they can't imagine their partner being with anyone else who's probably better than them and is that even an excuse or is it normal for people to be possessive like that?
You Think You Can Change Them
because you think that they'll eventually change or that you can change them.
You Feel Like A Breakup Would Be A Lot Of Work
You Love Them And That's Pretty Much All You Have
That you love them. Love alone is not enough, if relationship is somehow harmful or you have totally different life goals. When you are in love, you feel like you could never have that same feeling with anyone else. But you can.I'm also always annoyed when people say that if you are not in love anymore you should break up. You don't have to, if you are happy and relationship is giving you something else.
You See Breaking Up As A Failure
Because people think it will be some kind of failure. Especially people who are married say this, "a failed marriage". Bullsh*t! You haven't failed anything, people change, they grow up or want different things.Failing is not being true to yourself or your SO.
You Don't Think You Could Do Better
Because you don't think you'll find anyone better. Or that you don't deserve anyone better.
You Believe They Can't Live Without You
Because he is so attached to you. It took me quite long to realize that "I can't live without you" was more creepy than cute.
Your Relationship Is A Part Of Who You Are
Because you think your relationship is a part of your own identity as a person.
You Just Like Saying You Have A Partner
Staying together just to say that you have a partner. I've seen many older women stay with their husbands because they like the fact that they can say "my husband" and don't know what they would do if they lost that.
You Think You're Too Old To Be Desired By Anyone Else
You're Trying To Prove Something To Yourself
Recently one of my friends literally said she's staying to "Prove to herself that she doesn't just walk out on people, that she can fix him" and I told her that was one of the worst things I had ever heard. Stay because you're happy or leave because you're not
/u/phasestep Becuse you have kids , I grew up with parents who constantly fight that only stayed together becuse they had kids I dont think it's right,it affects the kids more then you can know when they sit there watching their parents fight. it's better to leave a relationship then stay when you dont want to
My best advice? If your gut is telling you this isn't working, don't let anything or anyone convince you otherwise.