Dating

If You Just Weren't Feeling Your Date, Text Them This

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Some dates are so good, they make you want to stay up late and dissect every single juicy detail with your crew. Some can be so bad, all you can think about is getting straight home to marathon Netflix. On successful nights, your post-date ritual probably includes sending an, "I loved hanging out tonight," text. In the same vein, it's time to normalize sending a text if you weren't into your date. Because even though ghosting feels like just another part of dating, it can still be hurtful AF, and most of the time, honesty is the best policy.

It's a difficult task. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to basically tell someone, "Hey, I wasn't into you." But the alternative is leading someone on or disappearing without a trace, and almost everyone who's experienced ghosting knows how unpleasant it can feel. If you want a clean break, sending a slightly uncomfortable text that'll help you both move on might be the best way to go. Here's some inspo to get you started.

1. Hey! I just want to let you know that I enjoyed meeting you last night, but I didn't feel that much romantic chemistry between us. I wanted to be honest instead of wasting any more of your time!

2. About our date last week: I really liked hanging out with you, but I've met someone who I think is a better match. Wishing you the best!

3. I just want to say, I think you're a wonderful person, but I've met someone else who I'd like to explore things with and don't want to lead you on. Thanks for spending time with me and I'm wishing you all the best!

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4. Hi! I just want to say I appreciate the time we spent together, but I don't think we're a good match. I'm wishing you the best of luck.

5. I've had fun on these last few dates, but I don't see us progressing to a long-term, committed relationship.

6. Thank you for the date, but I don’t think that we should see each other again. TBH, when you said [insert offensive moment here], it made me really uncomfortable and I don't think we're a good match. Wishing you luck on your dating journey.

7. I appreciate the time you spent with me, but after a few dates, I don't think we're romantically compatible. I'd rather be honest than continue leading you on! Thank you, and I wish you the very best!

8. I've enjoyed spending time with you over these last few weeks, but I've thought about it and I don't think this is going to work out.

9. You're a wonderful person, but I just don't think we're compatible.

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10. After some reflection, I've come to the conclusion that we don't want the same type of relationship, so I don't think this is going to work out. Thanks for your time and wishing you the best.

11. I think you're cool, but I don't think we'd make a good couple. Friends? (Only say the last bit if you really mean it!)

12. Hey, I had a wonderful time doing [insert date activity here], but I don’t see this going anywhere romantic.

13. Thank you for last night, but I just didn't feel that spark. I'm wishing you the best.

14. I really enjoyed getting to know you on our date, but I just don't feel a connection between us.

15. I had a good time going out last night, but I don't feel like we really clicked. LMK if you're willing to stay friends!

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16. I had fun last night, but I don't see this connection becoming a long-term romantic relationship, and I don't think it would be right to go on another date.

17. I think you're a dope human being, but I don't see this turning into a romantic relationship. Do you want to stay friends?

18. I just want to be upfront and say even though I had fun hanging out, I don't see us as more than friends. If that's alright with you, please keep in touch!

Romantic feelings (or lack thereof) can be really difficult to discuss. Whether you're feeling warm and fuzzy, or totally turned off, you have the right to express that. If you were in the other person's shoes, chances are, you'd like the same transparency so you'd know not to waste any more of your time or energy. The good news about sending a rejection text? It's an easy way to politely but firmly tell someone you're better off going your separate ways.