Up until my first and my current relationship, most of my romantic relationships were pretty much a comprised of a few occasional hookups and the more frequent flirty banter via text. The closest thing we had to being intimate in those relationships was sex. But, now that I'm in an actual relationship, I've learned that there are plenty of ways to be intimate without having sex.
Don't get me wrong, Sex is great. And it can still be intimate! But there are plenty of other things you can also do to feel close to another person. If you're not in the mood for whatever reason — and from fatigue to medical conditions to simply not feeling interested in sex at the moment and more, there are plenty of reasons you might not want to have sex — you're not alone. In a recent Reddit AskWomen thread, ladies share all of the many ways you can boost intimacy without doing the deed.
They cuddle and eventually fall asleep in each other's arms.
Literally sleeping together. That’s not something I’ve done with another person for a VERY long time. Cuddling and eventually falling asleep in someone’s arms is very intimate and requires quite a bit of vulnerability
He took care of her when she was sick.
Taking care of me when I was sick. We’ve been together for about a year and don’t live together. I had to cancel plans because I had the stomach bug (diarrhea and throwing up) and he came over and took care of me. Any man that can witness his girl sitting on the toilet and head in a trash can and still want to cuddle you and love on you is a keeper.
He bathed her after her mastectomy.
When I had my mastectomy my ex had to bathe me since I couldn’t get my surgical wounds wet and I couldn’t move my arms above my chest. Months later he said it was was his favorite part of the ordeal because it was the only time I smiled. I had assumed that part was a burden.
They get dressed for the day together.
Getting dressed for the day or undressed for bed together. Having deep meaningful conversations on the couch. He scrubs my back before I get in the shower. I shave his lower back for him after a health issue necessitated it.
She plucks his eyebrows.
I pluck my husband's eyebrows. He's really insecure with how his eyebrows look and he trusts me enough to style them for him.
He wraps his arms around her tightly.
When he wraps himself around me tightly while cuddling/spooning, and calls it “maximum security”If I’m feeling sad, he’ll tease me and be like “Aw does someone need maximum security?” It’s very sweet
She rubs lotion on his backside every day.
My boyfriend swims nearly everyday and the chlorine dries the crap out of his skin, so I spend a few minutes everyday lotioning his back and ass so they don’t get ashy.This is mostly non-sexual but sometimes I pretend i’m a dude and the lotion is my “nut”, with crazy humping and dirty talk.
They make eye contact with each other before falling asleep.
There’s always a few moments before we fall asleep where we’ll just lay together, making eye contact. That may sound strange but it always feels super intimate and in a way that nothing needs to be said out loud. You’re just sharing this moment and know that there’s nowhere else you’d rather be.
He tucks her into bed.
He goes to bed much later than I do, but he puts me to bed every night. I lay my head on his chest and play with his beard while he rubs my head. Then I will usually tell him, "I need some skin," and I will untuck his shirt, and put my hand up inside under his shirt and rub his chest/play with his chest hair as he rubs my head, until I fall asleep. It is my favorite time of the day, by far!
They chat about their clean butts.
We just bought a bidet. We love the bidet. We regularly talk about how awesomely clean our butts feel, usually while one of us is using the bidet.
They cry together.
Cry together. Just holding each other as we both sob. We've had a lot of hard knocks since getting married young. But we are still so madly in love.
He removed a stuck Diva Cup for her.
Remove a stuck Diva Cup.
He looks at her with intense longing.
My boyfriend has the most gorgeous, piercing blue eyes. He does this thing where he would look at me intently and longingly, it feels like he can see my soul and I’ve never felt more vulnerable and connected with another human being.
They sing their favorite songs in the car together.
Riding in the car together singing our favorite songs.
They laugh uncontrollably at a joke before they fall asleep.
Sometimes we start giggling at a silly joke and end up just laughing together uncontrollably in bed before we go to sleep. It’s my favorite.
He held her hand while they changed her IUD.
He held my hand while they changed my IUD. I hate it and it was awful. He also made sure I was comfortable after and drove me home. Or was the opposite of sexual but in in a way it kind of was since my sexual/reproductive health can effect his.
See guys? There are plenty of ways to be intimate that don't involve doing it.