I'm in my first real relationship, and you know what? It's hard! I mean, it's just funny to me that we go to school for so long, and we're taught everything there is to know about the Revolutionary War and obtuse angles, but nobody bothers teaching us how to make a lasting relationship work. Unfortunately, those lessons are usually saved for you to learn through your own through trial and error. But luckily, lots of brave women shared what they've found to be important relationship lessons for women, based on their own experiences, in a recent Reddit thread.
Below, I have what I found to be the 15 best responses throughout the entire thread. Read along and memorize these amazing lessons from these amazing women.
It's never too late to walk away.
Don't stick with a mistake just because you spent a long time making it.
Respect each other's interests.
You don't have to share every interest and hobby, but respecting your partners interests and hobbies is vital. You can be supportive without participating and showing a little interest won't kill you.
Edit: oh and that goes both ways, don't date someone who doesn't respect your hobbies either.
Admit when you're wrong.
Swallow your damn pride. It's hard to admit you're wrong or being a shit, but if you are, for the sake of the relationship and your partner, own up to it and try to make changes.
This one does not come easy to me. At all. But it's important.
It takes more than love to make a relationship work.
Love is not enough. There are so many other things that are necessary for a successful relationship.
Don't waste your effort on someone who doesn't value you.
Don't waste your time and effort on someone who won't put in the time and effort for you. They might be the best person in the world, but they're not for you if they don't love you in the way that you want and need.
Compatibility means sh*t if there's no attraction, just as attraction means shite if you're not actually compatible.
Love is an action. Pay attention to what they actually do, not what they say or promise they will do. Someone can tell you they love you but if they don't treat you with love, they don't love you.
Listen to your gut.
The little nagging gut feelings I had, the ones I tried to convince myself meant nothing because it would mean ending the relationship, were always right.
Someone's not doing you a favor by liking you.
Don't be too grateful for someone liking you. Think a bit about what you think of them.
Every relationship doesn't have to last a lifetime.
Not all relationships are meant to last forever.
Communicate about EVERYTHING.
Communicate, communicate, communicate.
Communicate about problems. Communicate about good things. Communicate about the future. Communicate about the past. Communicate about communicating.
No one is a mind reader. Don't assume you know what the other person is thinking/feeling and don't expect them to know what you're thinking/feeling (even if you think "it's totally obvious"). You're trapped in your perspective all the time and they're trapped in theirs. You need to share in order for both of you to get the full picture.
There's no such thing as winning an argument.
Nobody "wins" an argument. Being a couple means being on the same team.
Sexual compatibility matters, too.
My happiness is important too. I can't burn myself out trying to make my partner happy if it's making me miserable in the process.
Also, sexual compatibility can definitely be a relationship breaker, despite how much I wanted to believe that sex didn't matter if two people loved each other enough.
Wait until you've calmed down to air your grievances.
Never say anything in anger. Calm down, gather your thoughts and feelings, and then sit down and discuss accordingly and maturely. In the heat of the moment, you’re bound to say something you may regret later. You can’t unring a bell. It’s far easier to walk away and come back down the line, than it is to do damage control after the fact.
You are in charge of your own happiness.
That my happiness depends on me and is my responsibility.
The person you're with should want to be with you.
Never be with someone who doesn't actively want to be with you. I spent a lot of time in past relationships working so hard to get love and affection. Maybe if I just loved them more, did more for them, I'd also get the love I want..yeah, no. If they aren't as head over heels as me, I'm out.
Pick your battles.
Pick your battles. You don't have to be right all the time, and not every little thing is worth arguing over.
Seriously, ladies, this is all pretty awesome advice. Take it to heart.
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