A tree is currently getting more action than a lot of men out there.
According to news.com.au, Emma McCabe, 31, told Closer magazine she has found the most satisfying sexual relationship she's ever had in a tall poplar tree she has named Tim.
McCabe intends to marry the tree because all of her relationships with humans have failed miserably.
Deffos your mam' Emma McCabe ' @Mccxck pic.twitter.com/Yd6wISWfD2 — cba (@MuLTi__EU) March 22, 2015
The 31-year-old did not hesitate to provide details regarding Tim's magic touch.
She told the British tabloid,
One night, I took off my top and rubbed my naked breasts against Tim's trunk until I orgasamed.
Tim is also a great source of emotional support, she says, and she sometimes goes to see him just to talk, reports Joe.ie.
I look at other trees, but don't touch -- I wouldn't cheat on Tim.
Her family refused to comment, so who knows what they think of her suitor.
McCabe would love for them to come to her wedding, which she'd prefer to be a "low-key ceremony."
Tim and McCabe's bond is most likely the result of an extreme case of dendrophilia, which is a psychological disorder involving a sexual attraction to trees.