There comes a point when technology becomes redundant: Be honest, how many of us really need an iPhone and an iPad and a MacBook and an Apple Watch?
But there are some people for whom money is no object, and that redundancy becomes irrelevant for them. Consumption, after all, is rarely so much about need as it is want.
Often, us poorer folk are left to wonder what the one percent could possibly be doing with all of those extra gadgets.
The answer is drawing penises.
Yep, turns out that's the primary function of the Apple Watch, at least among most users.
Citing several unverified tweets, Complex reports the Apple Watch's Sketch feature has become a favorite of the bored and uncreative, those who use the app to doodle dicks and send the sketches to friends.
Why, exactly, this is news remains a mystery to me.
If the only goddamn thing you can think to do on your shiny, $600 Apple Watch is draw pictures of penises, you, my friend, need to seriously reevaluate your life choices and scale back on your spending.
Rest assured, you're not the only one:
There's this dick-drawing dude...
#AppleWatch drawing dick pics on iWatch @ Walmart - @bshigeta @hotxtea pic.twitter.com/UxSfbbRX5N — Reserve Result. (@ReserveResult) June 7, 2015
...and Chel, who's even made fun of by her own mother.
Showing my brother how you can send dick drawings on the Apple Watch and my mom goes, “wow, it's been a while since you've seen a penis” — OS X Chel Capitan (@akachela) June 6, 2015
OK, this person is actually 100 percent correct.
Dick sketches are better than dick pics any day! #AppleWatch — Luscious X Mahoney (@zanne1111973) July 4, 2015
Amber seriously needs to find herself a hobby.
99% of the things i use my #AppleWatch for is to draw and send dick pictures to my Husband. — Amber (@AllTooWell25) July 2, 2015
Terry recognizes the absurdity of the situation yet proceeds anyway.
Could draw a masterpiece on the apple watch. Draws a dick and sends it to friends instead. — Terry Hardwick (@terryjr91) July 1, 2015
And finally, there's this guy who misses the point entirely.
yeah well when are they gonna make an apple watch for ur dick — Relax, kid (@josefkenny) July 3, 2015