Women Are Actually Injecting Blood Into Their Boobs To Make Them Perkier

by Taylor Ortega

Look, we're all adults here, but I would be remiss if I didn't at least suggest we, as a society, stop getting creepy injections.

Needles are creepy enough. There's no need to up the ante with silicone and, now, blood.

Cosmetic dermatologist Dr. Charles Runels created the Vampire Breast Lift in the wake of his success with the Vampire Facelift. For this special, spooky procedure, patients throw down $1,800 to have blood drawn from their arms, and then once the platelets are separated into plasmas via centrifuge, the blood is injected into their breasts.

The injections reportedly stimulate tissue growth, creating soft, flawless, enviable boobies in women with disappointing natural breasts, aging implants or inverted nipples.

The single-visit procedure reportedly takes 15 minutes and causes a minor pinching or burning feeling in most patients.

Now, perhaps I don't understand beauty, but let's vow to make injections as pleasant as possible.

Sure, the needle is a necessary evil, but we have full control over what we shoot into our flesh temples; let's try to inject marshmallow fluff, melted Yankee Candle wax, scented lotions, cheesecake or our loved ones' tears of joy over us trying to achieve more youthful looks through cosmetic injections.

Make the world a less creepy place, one needle at a time.

Citations: Would you pump up your chest by injecting it with BLOOD? Doctor debuts new 'vampire breast lift' which he claims will give women rounder, perkier boobs without ANY surgery (Daily Mail)