There Might Be A Correlation Between Catcalling And The Size Of Balls

The male prototype prone to catcalling, excessive bragging and the infuriating tendency to mansplain is most likely the same guy you know with small balls.

A new study on the behavior of Howler monkeys found that males with louder calls are overcompensating for other shortcomings -- aka smaller testicles.

Lead Researcher Jacob Dunn told US News,

In evolutionary terms, all males strive to have as many offspring as they can, but when it comes to reproduction you can't have everything.

The monkeys, averaging 15 pounds, possess vocal chords three times longer than a human's, allowing for one of the loudest calls on the planet.

True to male nature, the monkeys yell incessantly until their female counterparts come running.

When it comes to spreading their seed, every monkey is looking to get his. Those monkeys with smaller vocal chords must depend on their bigger testicles and more sperm to attract females for reproduction.

Dunn explains,

It may be that investment in developing a large vocal organ and roaring is so costly that there is simply not enough energy left to invest in testes. Alternatively, using a large vocal organ for roaring may be so effective at deterring rival males that there is no need to invest in large testes.

When we compare this trade-off to humans (or the aforementioned oh-so-desirable male prototype) we can speculate one very small truth: If he's a catcaller, he ain't packing where it counts.

Hear more from Jacob Dunn and what the Howler monkey really sounds like:

Cambridge University on YouTube

Citations: Monkeys' Balls Show How Men Overcompensate (US News), Study Suggests Catcalling Trash Bros May Have Tiny Balls (Complex)