Trump Will Start Cracking Down On Marijuana, So Hold Your Loved Nugs Tight

by Hope Schreiber

Hey, everyone! We're just going to discuss what we learned in our DARE classes, how Nancy Reagan told us to just say "NO!" and cool ways to say no to the devil's lettuce.

So, if you heard this all before, just slam on that back button!

If you're at a party, and somebody comes up to you with a marijuana cigarette, don't fret! Just say "No, thanks," or "Not right now," or "ARE YOU CRAZY? I WANNA GET INTO COLLEGE!"

Anyway, there are plenty of...

OK, the narcs are gone. TRUMP IS TRYING TO TAKE OUR WEED, YA'LL.

Eight states and Washington DC have legalized marijuana for recreational purposes, and 20 states have legalized it for medicinal purposes.

We thought for sure we were on the right track toward decriminalizing the ganja.

President Barack Obama's administration didn't enforce the federal law that prohibits marijuana use. But according to Sean Spicer, Donald Trump's press secretary, our mellow is about to be majorly harshed.

Spicer said,

There's two distinct issues here: medical marijuana and recreational marijuana. I think medical marijuana, I've said before, that the president understands the pain and suffering that many people go through, who are facing especially terminal diseases, and the comfort that some of these drugs, including medical marijuana, can bring to them. And that's one that Congress, through a rider in [2014], put an appropriations bill saying that the Department of Justice wouldn't be funded to go after those folks. There's a big difference between that and recreational marijuana. And I think that when you see something like the opioid addiction crisis blossoming in so many states around this country, the last thing we should be doing is encouraging people. There's still a federal law that we need to abide by when it comes to recreational marijuana and other drugs of that nature.

This just makes it sound like not only has Spicer never been offered weed, but he's never even been invited to a party.

While Spicer blames marijuana for adding to the opioid addiction crisis, which is very real, research shows that legalizing pot leads to less opioid deaths.

Regarding the federal law outlawing marijuana, Spicer added,

I do believe that you'll see greater enforcement of it.

Of course, we should always take Sean "Alternative Facts" Spicer with a grain of salt.

Trump has previously said enforcement should be decided by the states.

However, Attorney General Jeff Sessions and the Department of Justice are the ones who will enforce the law. Sessions has also said "good people don't smoke marijuana."

This is crazy -- the nicest people I know smoke the weed. You know who doesn't smoke weed? Me. And I'm terrible.

Don't be like me. Smoke weed.

Citations: Sean Spicer just said we should expect an anti-marijuana crackdown under Trump (Vox)