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Political Swag Off: Which Presidential Candidate Has The Best Merch?

by Kate Ryan

If you're not sure which presidential candidate to vote for this election season, you're in good company.

Maybe you've narrowed it down to two candidates, but if their policies are roughly the same, how do you choose?!

Luckily, we have the answer, and that answer is swag. Who has the best sh*t you can buy off their campaign website?

Because that's what it really boils down to: good ol' American consumerism.

Donald Trump (R)

"Official Donald Trump Make America Great Again Cap"

Donald Trump

For those who like to play fast and loose with the word "great."

"Make America Great Again In Camo"

Donald Trump

When you need to blend in, but you still want to show your support.

Ted Cruz (R)

"Personal Cooler"

Ted Cruz

It's like a regular sh*tty cooler, except it costs $40.

Marco Rubio (R)

"Marco Rubio Is Bae T-Shirt"

Marco Rubio Stuff

A perfect combination of sketchy and sad.

Ben Carson (R)

"Scrub Top"

Ben Carson

In case you're planning your Halloween costume early this year.

"Travel Mug"

Ben Carson

The adult sippy cup for clever alcoholics. Drink on the go while pretending you visited the gift shop at the 1984 Olympics in LA.

Did I mention it's on sale along with everything else in Ben Carson's online swag store? Get it while you can.

Jeb Bush (D)

"Vintage Tank"

Jeb Bush

Why grow sideburns when you can wear Jeb Bush's? This "vintage" tank top will only set you back 20 bucks. Now that's what I call a steal.

"Guaca Bowle"

Jeb Bush

The product description for this is just priceless:

Jeb and Columba love whipping up guacamole on Sunday Funday. Now, you can get in on the act with this “Guaca Bowle.” Jeb's secret guacamole recipe not included…yet.

The bowl itself, however, will set you back $75. Avocados not included.

Bernie Sanders (D)

"Shep Fairey" Tee

Bernie Sanders

This t-shirt is pretty dope. With a flaming Lady Liberty design; his famous tagline, "Feel the bern"; and an endorsement by OBEY Founder Shep Fairey, it's going to be hard to say no to this purchase.

Then again...

"Feel the Bern Coffee Mug"

Bernie Sanders

I don't want this mug, I NEED it.

Hillary Clinton (D)

"Chillary Clinton Can Holder Combo"

Shop Chillary Clinton

This is how you know she really "gets" Millennials, amirite?

Tees On Tees On Tees

Shop Hillary Clinton

OK, so her shirts are actually pretty cool. With designers like Tory Burch and Marc Jacobs on her side, it should come as no surprise that her swag is stylin'.

"The Everyday Pantsuit Tee"

Hillary Clinton

I think we have a pretty clear winner, you guys. #ChillaryClinton #SwagOffChampion2016

"Stitch by Stitch Throw Pillow"

Shop Hillary Clinton

Touché, Hillary. Touché.