Guy Broke Into A Pizza Restaurant And Decided To Strip Nude

#Relateable, am I right?

No? No one else besides me and this guy have done this? OK... I think you're all lying, but OK...

The Baltimore County Police Department are turning to the public to seek help identifying this man who, for some reason, broke into a pizza place by crawling through an air vent and then got naked.

At 6:00 am on November 10, Slice of Towson in Towson, Maryland was robbed by the man.

He also took all of the clothes off his body and then draped them over his head. That's not how clothes work, silly!

I can only assume his thought process was,

Oh, no. People recognize me by my face, but few recognize me by my butt and penis. Solution -- put my clothes on my head.

He was unable to open the register, so he only left with a small amount of change and a bottle of water.

He didn't even try to steal any pizza? Why break into a pizza joint if not to have a buffet for one? Fire up that brick oven, friend -- you're already inside!

Police found the man's sweatpants and sandals in the vent, making them believe he originally took them off because they kept getting caught.


At least the pizza shop that he broke into has a sense of humor about the incident.

They are offering free pizza fo' lyfe to whoever turns this naked dude in to the authorities.

Plus, they claim their slices are a lot bigger than what this dude has to offer.

The owner Paul Rizas says that it could come in the form of a whole pie a week or a slice a day. He promised the Baltimore Sun,

I'll stand behind my word. As long as I'm here, they'll have pizza.

It is believed the man caused $3,000 worth of damages to the vents, restaurant and my eyes. MY EYES!

Citations: A Man Broke Into A Pizza Place, Stripped Naked, And Robbed It (BuzzFeed)