Guy Blames Jesus After Getting Caught Stealing $7 Billion


For years, the famous rhetorical question asking, "What would Jesus do?" has prevented people from doing things Jesus wouldn't do. It's as simple as that.

All it means is you should probably rethink what you're planning to do because the outcome has the potential to be negative.

Instead of asking himself this question prior to committing a serious crime, one Florida man decided to blame his stupid judgment on Jesus.

A man named John Michael Haskew from Lakeland, Florida decided to try stealing nearly $7 billion from a "large, nationally renowned financial institution" back in December using a series of wire transfers that were later deemed fraudulent.

According to Complex, Haskew had been unemployed when he committed the crime. Apparently, the man owed the government a ton of money.

Without a job, he couldn't come up with a feasible way to pay down his debts. So, what did he do? He used someone's bank routing number to set up over 70 transactions.

Those 70 transactions were supposed to make Haskew a rich man, granting him $7 billion in stolen bank funds.

Eventually, someone at the bank noticed the funny activity going on. Law enforcement went after Haskew and arrested him on December 16.

While you'd think the crime he foolishly committed was the worst part about this story, you might want to wait until you read his explanation about why he did what he did.

According to ABC News affiliate WFTV, the man literally blamed "Jesus Christ" for the heinous crime. An official criminal complaint on the matter reads,

This dude actually thought Jesus' name would ring a few bells and let him off the hook? *Facepalm*

Haskew is now facing up to five years in prison. When released, he must pay up a $250,000 fine as punishment for the crime. So much for paying down that debt... Stupid people win stupid prizes!

Citations: Florida Man Got Caught Stealing $7 Billion And Blamed It On Jesus (Complex)