The boys of One Direction released their third single off their upcoming Made In the A.M. album, and fans are already positive "Perfect" is about a certain blonde, willowy pop star.
Bandmates and potential lover/bestie hybrids Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson wrote the song, perhaps about Harry's ex, with help from Jacob Kasher, John Ryan, Maureen Anne McDonald and producers Julian Bunetta, Jesse Shatkin and AFTERHRS.
1. Louis kicks off the first verse, but we ALL know this song is about the couple praised in Taylor Swift's "Style." He sings,
I might never be your knight in shining armor / I might never be the one you take home to mother / And I might never be the one who brings you flowers / But I can be the one, be the one tonight.
BAD BOY ALERT! THIS IS 100 PERCENT HOW HARRY SEES HIMSELF.
2. Liam Payne takes the bridge. Again, this is not about you, other 1D members, but the support is appreciated. He sings,
When I first saw you / From across the room / I could tell that you were curious (Oh, yeah) / Girl, I hope you're sure / What you're looking for / 'Cause I'm not good at making promises.
WELL, DOY. TAYLOR SWIFT IS STRIKINGLY GORGEOUS AND FAMOUSLY CURIOUS ABOUT SENSUAL, LONG-HAIRED MEN.
3. When the chorus rolls around, Harry obviously takes the reigns as this song is about the sweet nostalgia of a relationship that basically built the entirety of Tay's 1989 album.
But if you like causing trouble up in hotel rooms / And if you like having secret little rendezvous / If you like to do the things you know that we shouldn't do / Baby, I'm perfect / Baby, I'm perfect for you.
OMG, HARRY, WHY ARE YOU TALKING IN HYPOTHETICALS? SHE LIKES ALL OF THESE THINGS. IF YOU WERE TO CREATE SEPARATE FACEBOOK STATUSES FOR EACH OF THESE ACTIVITIES, SHE WOULD BE THE FIRST VIEW/LIKE/COMMENT ON ALL OF THEM.
4. The rest of the band backs Harry up on the second half of the chorus, singing,
And if you like midnight driving with the windows down / And if you like going places we can't even pronounce / If you like to do whatever you've been dreaming about / Baby, you're perfect / Baby, you're perfect / So let's start right now.
OK, WELL, NO. YOU CANNOT "START RIGHT NOW" BECAUSE SHE HAS ALREADY "STARTED" WITH CALVIN HARRIS, SO, INVITATION POLITELY DECLINED. TAY IS RSVP-ING "GTFO, NO" TO THIS ONE.
5. With emotions freaking high as hell, Niall Horan starts the second verse. He sings,
I might never be the hand you put your heart in / Or the arms that hold you any time you want them / But that don't mean that we can't live here in the moment / 'Cause I can be the one you love from time to time.
WHY ARE YOU TRYING SO DESPERATELY TO ESCAPE RESPONSIBILITY AND COMMITMENT, HAR?! DID TAY'S SONG "HOW YOU GET THE GIRL" TEACH YOU NOTHING???
6. After another chorus, Niall continues fighting Harry's battles for him, singing,
And if you like cameras flashing every time we go out / (Oh, yeah) / And if you're looking for someone to write your breakup songs about / Baby, I'm perfect / Baby, we're perfect.
WOAHHH. WOAH THERE. WOAH BUDDY. LISTEN, HARRY, YOU DESERVE LOVE AS MUCH AS THE NEXT POP SUPERSTAR BUT YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY MAN TO HAVE A SWIFT ORIGINAL BREAKUP SONG PENNED IN HIS NAME.
PS -- really subtle, man.
The remainder of 1D's new masterpiece collection of thinly veiled messages to fellow beautiful, influential people drops Friday, November 13, and the date is a complete indicator of the flaming stress this album induces. Fingers bone-crushingly crossed every song is either a love note to Tay Tay, or a breakup kiss-off to Zayn Malik.
As always, boys, thank you for the drama.