You might ask yourself how in gosh-darned-heck knowing someone's star sign can help you win an argument. Well, astrology covers all aspects of your personality, including the way you communicate with others.
In the same way that a lawyer wins a case by doing the necessary amount of research, you can win an argument by researching the signs. Perhaps you're a direct and blunt individual who likes to hash things out by yelling ugly truths and throwing furniture. Perhaps you need to win an argument with someone who hates conflict. You won't be able to go about things in the way you normally would. You're going to have to learn how to dial it back.
My spiritual warriors: Next time you've got a point to make, be sure to do some research on your opponent's astrological sign. Shift your tactics to fit your audience. Be an astrological ninja. May the stars be your guide.
Aries (March 21–April 19): Don't respond with anger. Or, actually, do.
People born under Aries will never admit they're wrong. But you have an advantage -- they often don't know what they're talking about. Aries usually jumps into an argument with half the facts and assumes everyone else will go along with it.
Stand your ground and respond with facts. Do not get emotional. When an Aries looks at you like you just murdered his or her whole family, he or she knows the fight is over. You also have the option of yelling your points while invading an Aries's space; a fight makes him or her certifiably DTF, which is a more amicable ending.
Taurus (April 20–May 20): Hack into the Taurus's mind using the five senses.
Winning against a Taurus is two-fold. First, you have to see it coming, because a Taurus will let something boil for weeks before he or she ex-f*cking-plodes, and a Taurus's temper can really throw people off.
Second, if you can control a Taurus's five senses, you can control a Taurus's mind. If you turn on some music, dim the lights and start baking something in the middle of an argument, a Taurus will fall into a strange hypnosis and forgive the entire situation.
Gemini (May 21–June 20): Keep your feelings to yourself.
People born under Gemini have a real mouth on them. They really enjoy arguing; it gives them someone to talk to. (Not that they're lonely. In fact, they'll likely be talking to people via text, live-tweeting the fight, and Googling facts to back up their argument.)
The best way to win is to say what you need to in a very light-hearted way -- using logic, not emotions. Then move on. If a Gemini has really lost it, he or she won't listen to reason, so the best way to win is to pull the plug on the whole conversation and leave.
A Gemini may not admit that he or she lost, but they'll know. When you take away a Gemini's ability to talk, you remove his or her power.
Cancer (June 21–July 22): Leave space.
Winning an argument with a Cancer isn't hard, but doing it without causing an emotional breakdown is tricky.
You'll feel like you're dealing with a mental patient. Use calm and quiet statements, but make your point. Use a compassionate touch, but give the Cancer lots of space. Reassure the Cancer of your love and loyalty.
If you live together, don't even THINK about bringing up the idea of moving out as a bargaining tool. A Cancer will explode.
Leo (July 23–August 22): Play the fool.
The best way to win against a Leo is to make such a huge fool out of yourself that the Leo decides he or she is too good for the argument. If your behavior appeals to the Leo's sense of duty and leadership, he or she will take pity on you, and you'll win -- kind of.
The Leo will still come out looking better than you. But "kind of" winning is unfortunately the best you'll be able to do. To lose would be undignified, and Leo is nothing if not dignified.
Virgo (August 23–September 22): Make medical recommendations.
Base your argument on genuine concern for Virgo's well-being. A Virgo is constantly worried about his or her health and the health of loved ones. If you can make your argument with well-informed reasoning and logic, a Virgo will give in pretty easily.
Libra (September 23–October 22): Be fair.
Fight like you're in a courtroom. Compile evidence. Make a case for yourself. Have a witness if necessary. Libra is the sign of justice and is represented by the scales. People born under this sign are the lawyers of the zodiac, and just like lawyers, they won't get involved in an argument unless they are sure they can win.
It's up to you to prove them wrong.
Scorpio (October 23–November 21): If you win, you'll never see each other again.
You could win if you really wanted to, but winning a fight with a Scorpio is actually punishable by death. That is all.
Sagittarius (November 22–December 21): Find a diversion.
Fighting with a Sagittarius is like getting hit with a blunt object in the middle of a nap. People born under this sign are not exactly known for their social graces; they see manners as minor details they can't be bothered with.
They're big philosophical thinkers, so being polite is not on their list of priorities. The best way to actually win an argument with a Sagittarius is to have a thick skin -- or at least act like you do -- and to find a way to weave your point into one of his or her philosophies.
Do it while you're on a trip to a museum or something. That way, the Sagittarius has something to explore and doesn't feel boxed in. They've got more important sh*t to do than be your crying shoulder.
Capricorn (December 22–January 19): Make the other person look good.
Pretend you're fighting with your boss and your job is on the line if you win. You're going to have to find a way to make the Capricorn look good if you want to claim victory.
There's got to be some sort of personal gain for them to be willing to agree with you, since Capricorn believes everyone is incompetent. Be sure to appeal to what the Capricorn values most -- money and status, baby! (Bring cocaine.)
Aquarius (January 20–February 18): Be willing to lose.
It's possible to win an argument with people born under Aquarius if you can somehow prove that your way is more cutting edge than theirs. They insist on being trailblazers. My boyfriend is an Aquarius, and he insists he was the first person to wear his hair in an Afro. He was born in 1982.
If you can't convince Aquarius people that your way is ahead of the curve, just do whatever you want by yourself. They love an independent thinker, and they may begin to see things your way, but it will take time.
Pisces (February 19–March 20): Have it your way.
Winning isn't the problem -- the problem is that winning is so easy it's not even enjoyable. It's almost criminal how malleable a Pisces mind is. You could convince people born under Pisces your idea was theirs, and they'll look at you wide-eyed and say, “Oh, silly me, I didn't even remember”!
Even if they believe that they're right and you're wrong, they'd rather let you win than fight about it.