Why We All Need Some Version Of A Security Blanket To Fall Back On

by Elyssa Carr

I had an adorable purple blanket when I was growing up; I would carry it with me wherever I went, sleep with it every night and hold it tight anytime I was scared. That little blanket provided me with a sense of security — no matter what happened, if I held it tight enough, everything felt okay. In both a literal and figurative sense, the blanket kept me warm, covering my body when I was cold, filling my soul with comfort anytime I was fearful.

As I grew up, that essence of my blanket manifested into different forms. Now, it’s music, my family, my writing and my friends that keep me warm in moments of weakness and darkness. Some days I turn to my family for hugs or words of reassurance for that warmth. Other days, I sit alone with my music and while my fears engulf me, I search for safety in the comfort of my headphones.

Growing up is tough, whether it means scraping your knees when you’re five, having your heart broken when you’re 20 or losing your soul mate when you’re 80. Life is difficult and usually will sting when things are tough, but your personal version of a security blanket will help to ease the pain. Sometimes, it may successfully ease your pain, and other times it just provides an outlet for a safe haven while navigating the hardships. Each time you reach for that security blanket, you will feel some sense of safety and source of strength to help get you through.

To some, feeling secure means never feeling vulnerable, and to others, it means embracing that vulnerability. To some, security is the hug of a loved one and to others it means being completely alone. To some, it’s having a thriving profession, while to others, it’s the power to leave a job that’s lacking.

The amazing thing about security is that it is yours to define. There will be moments when you feel lost, alone and scared, but there will be always that one thing — maybe that one person — who makes you see the light at the end of the tunnel.  This doesn’t mean that your problems will disappear, but that you have a new way to face them and embrace the adversity.

Feeling secure isn’t an avoidance of the fear of what may come, but knowing you will get through the moments of darkness. It’s about finding that one thing that soothes your shaking hand and helps you to feel strong in moments of struggle.

And while your security blanket may come in the form of an ice cream cone or a joke from a friend, it will help you get you to where you want to be.

Maybe we outgrow our security blankets when we are little and learn to rely on ourselves instead, but every now and then, we’ll feel like those little kids who need something warm on which to cling.

Life challenges us and takes surprising turns, so something to make us feel grounded is incredibly useful. Choosing to rely on some iteration of a security blanket does not mean giving in to weakness, but rather embracing the weakness and promising yourself to move past the obstacle.

Your version of a security blanket is for you to define, and is your secret to keep. It is empowering to have a small secret with yourself. Happiness comes and goes, but security is something you can choose to engage whenever you need.

It is reliable, empowering and, most of all, it is hopeful. So, when you feel scared, alone or heartbroken, remember that although we are told to abandon our security blankets, there are times when all we need is a small piece of warmth to get us through tough times.

Photo via We Heart It Tumblr