There are so many things to learn in your 20s that no self-help book can explain to you. My mother calls these years “stepping stones” because really, that's what they are.
I'm not an expert on how everyone's 20s will go. Each person will embark on a completely different adventure.
While scrolling through Pinterest the other day, I saw a quote that said, “You can't compare your chapter one to someone else's chapter 20.”
Every day is a new chance to start over, but it's also an opportunity to let go.
We can let go of things that cause anxiety, stress and pain and replace those things with what makes us feel renewed, happy and spiritually free.
This year, I have goals to accomplish and dreams to achieve, but before I can push forward, I need to let go of things holding me back.
Here is a list of truths that will allow you to let go and move toward the highest version of yourself:
1. Forgiveness is key.
Everyone has their moments when they act without thinking, or they say something out of anger.
Words can be taken out of context or voiced in such a vehement manner that sometimes it is almost too hard to forgive.
In order to move on, however, you must realize forgiving someone is much easier than holding a grudge.
2. Even though it hurts now, it can be good to say goodbye.
For months, I held out for this one guy who never gave me the time of day. I wanted him to realize what he was missing, but it never worked out that way.
I made the resolution to cut him out for good. I wanted him to fight for my attention, but then I realized that would never happen.
So, it was better for me to say goodbye.
You should do the same. Don't keep someone in your life just to continually get ignored.
3. Your time and attention are valuable entities.
Sometimes, I give people who do not deserve my time or attention both of those things.
But, I have come to realize I'm allowed to pick and choose whom I give those entities to.
My time is precious, and not everyone deserves it. My attention is even more valuable.
The same goes for you. If you're in an unbalanced relationship with someone who is getting all of your energy and giving nothing back, cut them out of your life.
4. You can remain a nice person and still say, “no.”
I used to jump out of bed at 2 am when a fuckboy would call me to pick him up from whichever bar he was at.
I have driven all the way across town to pick up a co-worker just because she didn't have a ride back to her place. I have also gone out of my way to drop my roommates off at work when I actually had other plans for the day.
I am categorized as the “too nice” girl, and I have learned that I can continue to be nice while saying, “no.”
Most people will take advantage of you if you always bend over backwards for them and expect nothing in return.
Learn to stand your ground, and people will respect you for it.
5. There will always be someone prettier than you, and there will always be someone uglier than you.
My grandmother always told me this as a little girl. People's perception of beauty is skewed to what each person defines as beautiful.
Not everyone will think you are beautiful, and some people may even think you're ugly.
That's OK. You can't appease everyone's standards, and the only opinion that matters is your own.
6. Maybe it's not your turn for love.
You will fall in love when the universe decides you should.
You cannot spend all your time worrying you'll never find someone or believing you are destined to be alone for the rest of your life.
As annoying as it is, you have to wait patiently for your turn. That's just how it works.
7. You are enough.
You are the only person who can determine your happiness. You have to love yourself whole-heartedly and figure out what ultimately makes you whole.
Maybe you are awkward, quirky and flawed, but that's what makes you so wonderful.
Whatever journey you are on, I hope these truths have provided you with a peace of mind.
It's difficult to let go of people and situations that define your life, but throughout this year, I hope you follow through with making yourself happier and healthier.
This year should be full of opportunities, experiences, memories and moments that will allow you to let go of everything that's holding you back.