34 Sad Thoughts You Have When You're College-Educated And Unemployed

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Earlier this year, I was pretty much running things. I graduated from a great university with a master's degree in a field I love. I sent in my applications and waited for the job interviews to roll in.

I figured I was set. I could repay all the money I’d borrowed to gallivant all over London during my sweet grad-school stint. I could move into a nice apartment, buy a year-long gym membership and become a well-adjusted, productive member of society.

Six months later, I am jobless and broke. I’m back to living at home, and the idea of paying to exercise now seems absurd.

My life went from 100 to zero real quick. I know the economy is bad and unemployment affects lots of college grads. But it still really sucks to work so hard for a degree, only to end up not working at all.

When you don’t have much going on between 9 and 5, you find yourself passing the time with deep, reflective meditation.

Here are some of the things that cross my mind each day when I’m busy working at my non-existent job:

1. Um, why did I go to college in the first place?

2. Am I not trying hard enough to find a job?

3. Or am I trying too hard? Is there such a thing when you're job hunting?

4. Did I choose the wrong field of study?

5. Should I go back to school and do something different?

6. I’m not getting any younger. How many more years can I spend in school?

7. My youth is passing me by.

8. You know what? I’ll just take any job at all. It doesn’t matter anymore.

9. Except that one. That one might kill me.

10. Should I change my résumé so HR won’t think I’m too young, too qualified or too inexperienced for this job?

11. It’s not really lying. It’s more like omitting. That’s different. Right?

12. Screw all of this. I’m going to start my own business.

13. How do you start a business?

14. Everybody’s doing it, so it can’t be that hard.

15. Except it takes money to make money. I have no money.

16. I guess I could be a consultant.

17. Let's be real: I can barely even help myself. Who’s going to consult with me?

18. Professional Netflix viewer is not the career goal I had in mind.

19. Do my parents resent me?

20. Do my friends secretly hate sponsoring me every time they invite me out? They seem nice, but who are they, really?

21. Is this what failure feels like?

22. This is getting dark.

23. I'm basically being punished for being too well-educated.

24. I just need a way to make some small money on the side until I can get something full-time.

25. Should I get a sugar daddy?

26. Should I become an Instagram model?

27. Do Instagram models earn money? I’m sure they do. Do they?

28. Will I ever enjoy reading my bank statement ever again?

29. I have literally forgotten what making a bank deposit feels like.

30. You know what? Maybe I should take this time to just do me.

31. Maybe this is just the universe’s way of helping me take a break from life to re-examine what I really want.

32.What do I really want?

34. I want to use my credit card again.

33. Sweet lord, I need a job.

34. Well, at least I’m motivated.

If you’re also having a rough time out there, know you’re not alone. Things are bound to get better. Hang in there, and keep working to get to where you need to be.

Now, excuse me while I go update my LinkedIn profile and drown my sorrows in cat videos.