12 Things You Need To Know About This Classy B*tch Called Karma

by Alexa Mellardo

According to Buddhism, Hinduism and other philosophies, Karma is what comes back to you in return, based on things you do or have done in your life.

Karma can be used as a term to define one’s fate, luck or destiny. She is a constant cycle of cause and effect. Every action you perform will affect you at some point in the future.

It is also believed if you do something good for the wrong reasons… it will result in “bad Karma” (and she comes with a vengeance to bite you in the ass).

Here are a few critical things you should know about this bitch called Karma:

1. She is a notorious re-gifter.

And I’m not talking strictly holidays… She generously pops in to give you a present when you least expect or want it.

No action goes unnoticed. She is there to collect, wrap up and deliver what you deserve right to your doorstep (in the finest packaging, of course).

2. When you cross her, you have to deal with her BFF "payback."

Karma is a Sanskrit word that means “deeds.” Great things and happiness are in store for those who do good deeds and express good intent.

When you exude negative energy, she will only return to you the exact way you put your action out there.

Bad deeds and intentions result in bad Karma and punishment to the intender’s present and future (aka, payback).

3. When she's on your side, you can't help but love her.

Deepak Chopra’s "Seven Spiritual Laws of Success" are principles, one for each day of the week, which explain how everything we do creates an energy force that comes back to us in the same way.

Doing things that bring success and happiness to the people around us allow us to reap the benefits of positive Karma. What we give is what we get back.

4. She can read minds.

We attract Karma by what we do, the words we speak and the things we think, whether our thoughts, intentions or actions are good or bad.

When we feed our body and mind with healthy choices and thoughts, we cleanse our system physically and mentally. It's an amazing feeling, and she will take note.

5. She sees everything.

Some people have eyes in the back of their heads; she has eyes literally everywhere. So watch your back... and front for that matter.

Jainism suggests Karma cannot be seen, but she is all around us, existing in the form of fine particles of matter.

Jains do not believe in violence, but rather peace, harmony and compassion. Harm should be avoided at all times in our thoughts, when choosing our words and performing any actions.

6. If you're a bad person, she will follow you forever (and ever).

In some religions, Karma is also associated with rebirth. It is believed one's actions will not only affect one's present life on this earth (now or in the future), but all of the things one does can affect a future life as well (samsara).

7. If she's happy, you'll be happy.

It makes good sense to create a more peaceful environment in your life by gradually incorporating love, faith and charity into your daily routine.

Living a virtuous lifestyle invites positive energy. Remember Karma's rule of thumb: what you give out, you get back in return.

8. She will bite you in the ass if you deserve it.

A prime example of this is the story of a convicted rapist, who collapsed just before his sentencing after finding out his victim had tested positive for HIV.

He was given a present, all wrapped up with a nice bow. Reap what you sow; payback's a bitch. Told you so!

9. She's the queen of honesty and always makes things right.

This past December, a guy’s bumper fell off as he was fleeing the scene of a hit-and-run, complete with his license plate for the authorities to find.

When involved in a hit-and-run, it's totally not a smart idea to leave your bumper at the scene of the crime. Needless to say, justice was served, and she most certainly has wit.

10. She hates haters.

When we are not feeling confident or happy with our own situation, it can be a natural reaction to be envious of someone else's success.

She doesn't like us to rain on someone else's parade, so practice what you have heard forever: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

11. If she were an actual person, she'd be a reg on "SNL."

In February, one commuter was rudely pushed by an arrogant man on the train. Mr. Rude Guy proceeded to tell the commuter to f*ck off.

The same arrogant man arrived at a job interview, which just happened to be with the guy he pushed and told to f*ck off that morning. One thing's for sure, she really does have a clever sense of humor!

12. She's absolutely real, whether you believe it or not.

Karma is something like a god; it takes one to be a believer in order to experience and be convinced she exists.

Whether or not you think Karma is real, it makes sense that the more peaceful, stress-free and positive quality of life you create for yourself, the happier, less stressed and healthier you will be.

What do you have to lose?

Karma can be a bitch… but she can be a pretty creatively awesome bitch, too.