Get As F*cked Up As Possible: How To Survive A Sh*tty Frat Party

by Dan Scotti

College is a fun time. No parents. A limited responsibility. A sh*t ton of parties.

For many of us, college presents the greatest four years of our lives -- years that should never be taken for granted.

Take it from me: There will come a time -- sometime after you graduate -- when you’ll wish you could drop your full-time job and just go back to college, even just for one more year. That’s the magic of college.

At the same time, however, college also presents its fair share of not-so-great moments, too. Despite the fact that most college movies revolve around killer frat parties with an abundance of sex, it doesn’t always work out like that.

In reality, they’re not always rainbows and keg stands.

In fact, when I reflect back on college, I remember a ton of frat parties I could barely stay awake for -- and it had nothing to do with my overconsumption of pot.

It might be the group of people attending the party; it could be the choice of tropical house music being played; it might even be an effect of the $6 vodka that’s being supplied to the party.

Whatever the case, sometimes you just get stuck at a bad frat party -- and when this happens, you’ll be forced to make the most of it.

Here are a few ways of doing so:

Get as f*cked up as possible.

Whether it’s a sh*tty frat party or a family reunion, whenever you’re surrounded by a mass of people you probably feel a little uncomfortable being around, the answer will almost always revolve around a little social lubrication.

That said, the beautiful thing about frat parties is the assortment of vices, pretty much wherever you turn.

In one corner, you’ll have a semi-flat keg; in the other, some cheap vodka. In the back, there’s probably some kid in sweatpants lighting up pot.

If you’re feeling miserable at the particular party you’re attending, you’re probably just too sober.

Thankfully, you can always amend that situation -- just make sure you don’t get too f*cked up and punch one of the upperclassmen in the fraternity. Because, then, your bad night can turn into a few bad semesters.

Try and mingle.

At the end of the day, let your instincts take the wheel.

If the party sucks, at least start to get your name out there, kid. Regardless of how trash a party might be, there will always be the opportunity to mingle and tend to your own dating life. At the very least, try and schmooze.

One good thing about fraternity parties is they’re usually pretty big. That said, you might be forced to do some exploring, first, before you find your proper place within the party.

If one side of the party is making you feel awkward, don’t wait too long before trying to shake sh*t up.

Act like you’re on your phone.

Whenever you’re in a potentially uncomfortable situation, pull your phone out of your pocket and furrow your eyebrows as if you’re looking at something confusing. This is a classic technique I developed way back in the high school days.

If you’re really uncomfortable -- pull the phone up to your ear and shout “hello?” Repeat a few times, if necessary.

Do something memorable.

The best way to overcome a sh*tty frat party is to leave your own imprint in said frat party. In college, you can become a legend overnight, as long as you do something crazy enough.

Having said that, keep your own personal health in mind.

Also, remember your reputation will follow you around for the next three or so years, so don’t do anything you’ll regret (that much) the next day. Kids these days have cameras.

Still, if you’re at a boring party -- sometimes the responsibility will fall on your own shoulders to liven things up, so to speak.

Meet some new friends.

If you’re looking to make the most of whatever party you’re at, meet some new people.

Not every party you go to will end up being the best night of your life -- that’s just how it goes -- but if you at least make some new friends, the night will never be a failure.

While away at school, you’re going to want to meet as many new people as possible. As you mature, you’ll learn to appreciate the importance of your network, so just pay attention to how friendly you make yourself appear.

If you’re having a sh*tty time -- and it shows on your face -- you’re probably not going to appear as the most welcoming of targets for others to approach and talk to.

Just try and have fun.

At the end of the day, you’re in college; you’re at a party.

If you’re that dramatically unhappy where you’re at -- just go home.

If you’re looking to make the most of whatever party you’re at, just change your attitude and be happy. I guarantee there are more than enough things around you to provide you some with some laughs.

People-watch. Have a few drinks. Spend time with your friends. Dance in your own small, isolated corner of the party floor -- whatever it may be, don’t hold back, and just allow yourself to have fun.

If you stop focusing on how you’re going to have fun, and just do it, it will do wonders for your disposition.

It’s college. It’s not that serious.