Everyone Changes: 12 Reasons Why It's Okay To Outgrow Old Friends
By your mid-to-late 20s, you'll probably have encountered a new, unique friendship situation.
You've passed the time of your school friends, sports team friends, the friends you hang out with at family parties and the ever-famous college drinking friends. Your mid-to-late 20s bestows upon you the ever-intriguing "friend you've outgrown."
I didn't even see this one coming.
I've always admired my older brother’s ability to judge character. He always seems to have a spot-on perception of someone, even after only one or two interactions.
Unlike my brother, I've had a history of naïveté. I expect the good in people often -- sometimes even without the evidence to back it up. I wear my heart on my sleeve, and doing this occasionally leaves me disappointed.
I felt a little guilty the first time I realized it, but the truth is, I've outgrown some friends in my life. I mean this without ego or self-righteousness: They are simply not at the same level of growth as I am.
It can feel pretty sh*tty, but it's okay to let these people out of your daily life -- here are 12 reasons why:
1. A person’s initiative is telling
If you’re trying to grow, move ahead and accomplish things, while this person can’t decide on a brunch place, it’s okay to move on.
2. Like my mom always says, “Polite and civil is all that's required”
You don’t have to be best friends, friends or even acquaintances with everybody.
3. Guard your heart and your time
If nothing else, your mid-to-late 20s teach you about your value and self-worth.
You are important. And the people who don’t realize that can take a hike.
4. It’s okay to say no to meeting up with a friend for drinks when you know the conversation is going to be awkward and outdated
We’ve all been there: "How’s so-and-so? Oh, you broke up six months ago? Remember that time three years ago when we…"
Ugh. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
5. Being an adult means behaving like one
If you’ve got a friend who still thinks it’s appropriate to act cliquey or judge new people based on their popularity status as if you’re in high school, it’s time you set them straight or quit hanging out.
6. On that note, if you’ve got a friend who still thinks it’s okay to date around like a “player,” unmindful of anyone’s feelings, it’s probably best you stop associating with him or her
Or at least give them some life advice.
7. Then there’s the money stickler
I no longer have time for people who want to make sure we split the bill for dinner down to the penny, or who avoid buying a round with impeccable tact.
Grow up. We’re all working hard and paying bills.
8. Recognize differences in habit
It was Gandhi who said, “Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values.”
Friends who start to have very different habits from you are taking a different path. Whether this habit difference is something as simple as optimism in the face of a negative situation, or as serious as a drug or alcohol problem, it’s okay to decide you’ve outgrown this person.
It’s more than likely that sooner or later, your core values will be very different.
9. If you have those friends who still think and act like they're living the college dream, you’ve probably outgrown them
10. Social media has changed friendships indefinitely
If you can’t stand this person’s Facebook profile, there’s no reason you should be dealing with him or her in real life.
11. It’s okay to move on from flaky people
If you can’t count on them to keep plans you’ve made, call you back or show up when you need them, then who needs ‘em?
12. It’s okay to surround yourself with the people you love the most, the people who inspire you the most, and no one else
These are the people who encourage you to not give up on that challenge at work and then congratulate you when you achieve your goal. Not the people who one-up you when you tell them about what you just achieved at work.
These are the people who don’t hold it against you when you’re acting bitchy and who have the ability to snap you out of a bad mood. Not the people who put you in that bad mood in the first place.