54 Signs You Need A Mental Health Day Like Right F*cking Now

by Ashley Fern

Mental health days are something everyone should be taking advantage of from time to time. These are the days we dedicate to ourselves to seek out the clarity we so desperately need.

Before we delve into this any further, let's closely examine this too spot-on definition from Urban Dictionary:

So basically, a mental health day is a day for you to do whatever you need to do that you probably couldn't do otherwise.

You may need to desperately catch up on some sleep, or maybe your piles of laundry are starting to creep up on you — whatever the reason, these days are yours.

There is a f*ck ton of reasons you need a mental health day, and today, we are going to list these reasons out for you.

You will see you are definitely not alone, as most likely everyone is on the brink of insanity.

So time to make you feel a little bit better about your current mental state...

1. Because if you don't, you'll get fired.

2. You're searching for jobs you've never even considered before.

3. You started taking two-hour lunches.

4. You've already bought hair dye and are planning your escape route to Mexico.

5. You daydream about teaching English in a foreign country.

6. You spent $400 this morning online shopping.

7. You've spent the past four hours pretending to work.

8. You ate your lunch and your coworker's lunch -- and are damn proud of it.

9. You've entered a blackhole of Wikipedia research.

10. You've WebMD diagnosed yourself with every ailment under the sun.

11. You're afraid your ass is permanently going to mesh into your seat.

12. You should use your vacation days now before you quit, and then you won't have any.

13. Because you're more creative when you're away from sh*t.

14. You can't look at a computer screen for one more f*cking second.

15. You really want to be a lady who lunches.

16. You have panic attacks just thinking about interacting with your boss.

17. It's about time you get the sh*t done you said you would get to after work.

18. You just generally hate everything.

19. And everyone.

20. You've been hitting the snooze button more and more, so you may as well just stay in bed.

21. Your favorite part of the workday is when you have to pee and can hide in the bathroom.

22. You're going to be useless today anyway.

23. You actually get anxiety walking through the office door.

24. You find yourself making excuses to leave the office for a mental breather at least three times per day.

25. You get angry when someone gives you any work to do, even when it falls under your job title.

26. You realize you're spending more time on Pinterest than on Excel.

27. Your day revolves around your snack breaks you've carefully planned.

28. Realizing you forgot your headphones sends you into a full-blown panic attack.

29. Your entertainment consists of making shapes and animals out of office supplies while procrastinating doing actual work.

30. You find yourself daydreaming about literally anything else other than the important meeting you're currently a part of.

31. Pure panic sets in when you realize you have 30 percent phone battery and six more hours left of work.

32. You've contemplated resorting to prostitution three times today. Hey, it's the world's oldest profession.

33. ...And have already made a profile.

34. ...And responded to four email propositions.

35. ...You have now deleted your account.

36. You ponder ideas of an invention so you can quit working and move to a private island.

37. You've Googled the requirements to become an Uber driver.

38. You get excited when your boss asks you to go get coffee because that means a little less time pretending to do work.

39. You wonder if it's too late to pursue a DJ career.

40. You genuinely hope you get selected for jury duty.

41. You don't remember what it is like to feel sunshine.

42. Or happy.

43. Or excited.

44. Or inspired.

45. Or motivated.

46. You have an actual countdown to every single public holiday for the rest of 2015.

47. You actually look forward to your work-out class because it means you can finally escape your office.

48. Four cups of coffee before 11 am are just not cutting it.

49. When you realize you have a more loyal relationship with your computer than any human being.

50. You highly consider locking yourself in the office coat closet after 3 pm for nap time.

51. You spend at least an hour every day searching through vacation packages, regardless of the fact you know you can't afford one.

52. You also spend ample amounts of time looking for jobs you'll never take.

53. As well as researching apartments on Craigslist in other countries you'll never live in.

54. All your once social self wants to do is crawl into the fetal position in your comfy bed at the end of every day.

For more of her thoughts, humor and ridiculous opinions follow Ashley Fern on Instagram and Twitter.