How to accept people for who they are

I believe one of the hardest feats to conquer in life is learning to accept people for who they are.

We all have expectations for people: our parents, friends, lovers, etc. We demand a certain kind of performance from them, and it must correlate with the picture in our mind; otherwise, it falls short.

We expect, without question, for them to follow our unwritten rules and play by the book of our beliefs.

When someone doesn’t react the way you want him or her to, it’s not because of you. Rather, it’s because said person’s beliefs don’t align with yours. An individual’s beliefs and standards cultivate who he or she is.

Everything a person does stems from those two elements of his or her being. People are always operating from their own subconscious agenda, whether it’s good or bad.

It never works out the way you think it will. People are human. They don’t have to live according to my expectations, or live by your beliefs.

They have their own set of rules, and none of them are any of your business. They don’t need to justify their standards of living, as long as they aren’t hurting other people.

But what if they are hurting other people?

It’s your prerogative to decide whether or not you can live with that. It’s your entitlement in life to figure out for yourself whether or not you can stand by their choices that may or may not directly affect you. It’s your duty to realize if the gap between your beliefs and another person’s beliefs is too wide to bridge.

You have to innately know whether to build or burn that bridge. No one else can decide for you.

Time will help you come to a conclusion as long as you keep living. As long as you keep breathing in and out, as long as your feet are moving, as long as you find a reason to laugh every day, and as long as you build and maintain your core -- the foundation comprised of your beliefs and standards. As long as that foundation is strong, the actions of another person can’t shake you.

You will be stronger than before, more capable and confident in whom you are. You will realize that who you are has nothing to do with the actions of another, and that acceptance is the only way to find peace.

This was originally posted on, and reproduced here by the author.

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