Managing Your Expectations Is The Key To Happiness

by Ashley Fern

We all have expectations in our lives: what we want out of life and who we want to become. I believe one of the keys to happiness lies within the management of your expectations of people and circumstances. If you do not have expectations, you can never be disappointed. Often we tend to believe that the way we treat others will be the way we are treated in return. But, unfortunately, this does not always happen.

You need to make sure you enter into relationships with someone who has as big of a heart as you do. If you do not, you may feel as if you are being taken advantage of or are being shortchanged. You need to find people who appreciate what you do for them and who will reciprocate these actions.

“There are two ways to be happy: improve your reality or lower your expectations.”

Having realistic expectations will allow you to accept the flaws each person has. We need to learn how to take responsibility for our own lives and our own decisions before we can expect others to do the same.

One of the biggest challenges we face in life is learning to accept people for who they truly are. Once you realize that your expectations cannot change people, the better off you will be. The problem will arise when the expectations do not materialize. If you find that you are going out of your way much more than the people you surround yourself with, it may be time to find a new group of friends.

“Give without expectation, accept without reservation, and love with hesitation.”

Unrealistic expectations will, can, and most often do lead to disappointment. Too many people are obsessed with finding the perfect career or the perfect spouse, and as a result become increasingly frustrated when this does not pan out.

An unfortunate pitfall of having high expectations in certain circumstances is that we prevent ourselves from enjoying the experience altogether. If you feel this way in your life, you need to readjust your expectations. Do not expect things out of situations, just go into them with an open mind. This will allow you to fully immerse yourself without the pressure of living up to preconceived notions.

When you have unrealistic notions for people, you place yourself at a high risk of getting disappointed and hurt. Maybe someone did let you down in certain aspects, but isn’t it inherently unfair to have these people on such a pedestal? By maintaining an accurate awareness of your own realities, you become able to determine what is truly expected from others.

“Expect the unexpected, believe in the unbelievable, and achieve the unachievable.”

Such disappointment can lead to several outcomes, including trying to get this person to change and an increased anger toward the person who is causing the disappointment. This becomes problematic since the fault lies with you for putting such pressure on this person.

There is a paradoxical issue when it comes to this. If you have high expectations, you can often end up disappointed, but if you don’t have these expectations, you may not try as hard as you could in order to accomplish a goal. These tendencies can turn people into perfectionists, which is far from a healthy lifestyle.

“Expectation is the root of all heartache.”

Expect what you can, reach and be aware of the fact that sometimes life throws you a curve ball. Try to remain confident while maintaining positive aspirations; just remember not to make these aspirations so high that they are impractical or unreachable.

Acceptance is an amazing trait that needs to be actively worked toward. When things do not work out the way we had planned, it is much more beneficial to realize that is how life works rather than becoming frustrated at the situation. Have hope rather than expectations and you will tend not to be as disappointed.