What Am I Doing With My Life? Why It's Okay To Be Unsure About It All

by Ashley Grates

What am I going to do when I'm older? Will I be happy? Will I meet the right person?

What am I going to wear tomorrow? What do I want to eat right now?

Ah, to be indecisive and unsure. You can't plan your life a year in advance because you can't even plan one hour in advance.

Your whole life, you were taught that you have to decide on a college to attend, pick a major, make a career out of if, make friends that'll last a lifetime, have a boyfriend or girlfriend you adore and a fulfilling life you're happy to live.

But what happens when the indecisiveness sucks you in, leaving you unsure?

Panic may start to set in because as you think about the future, you begin to get nervous.

What if you never amount to anything? What if your dreams are merely dreams and never become reality?

I'm telling you, although I've only been on this earth for 20 years, being unsure might be the greatest thing to ever happen to you.

Why do you have to be so sure about every aspect of your life? Who said you have to have everything planned out perfectly?

Being unsure allows you to experience anything and everything that comes your way.

When you act as if you have such a hold on everything in your life, you miss out on the spontaneous, memorable aspects of it.

So what if you don't totally love the girl you're casually dating right now? Why put a title on it? Why do you have to justify what it is you're doing?

As long as you're happy, who gives a sh*t? Isn't that the point of dating, to be unsure and experience something new?

Maybe it'll be everything you ever wanted and more, or maybe it'll teach you what you want in your next relationship. Either way, you'll learn from it. Who made up the rules anyway?

Who decided that when you text someone consistently, it means you're "talking," or that you have to slap a title on everything? (Whoever created these "social norms," I really hate you.)

Who cares if you don't know exactly what you want to do when you graduate from college or want to go down a new career path?

The point of life is to try new things and embrace the uncertainty. You can't live a life you're not happy with. Whether you're 21 or 51, you shouldn't have a job you hate.

We act as if we're stuck doing things, even if we despise them. The best part is, that's not the case. No one is making you do anything.

We're so set on having a planned future with a job, a relationship, a hobby or two, but we forget that at this age, the future is just that.

It's time that has not come yet and a time you cannot control, no matter how hard you try.

One of my previous professors once said,

"You can plan all you want but life has its own plan, one that is entirely different from yours and all you can do is just go with it."

I guess you could say uncertainty is the reason I decided to spend this upcoming semester abroad in Italy.

I spent my sophomore year unsure about everything. Don't get me wrong; I love my college and my friends, but I needed a change. I just wasn't sure what type of change that would be.

Studying abroad crossed my mind, but it seemed as if it was a dream in the distance.

It wasn't until I saw a list of quotes titled, "Advice to 20-somethings," and came across one that read,

"Don't stop yourself from spending a semester during your junior year abroad; you will not regret it."

After that point, I said, why the hell not? Why live a comfortable life? Why hold myself back from an experience that will be life-changing?

We get so set in the same routine, we forget there's more to life and this world than our everyday activities.

So, get out there and experience the world around you; be indecisive and unsure, but most importantly, be curious. Try new restaurants in your own town or in a new city, and do new and exciting things.

Who knows what'll come out of it? The best things happen when you least expect it.

Date that boy or girl with no expectations of what you want it to become; just let it be.

Do something you've never done, no matter how unsure you are. And don't waste your time stressing about your future.

Maybe somewhere along the way, you'll find the love of your life, or it'll dawn on you that you have a dream worth following.

So what if you don't know what you want for dinner tonight? That's the beauty of life: to be uncertain and to stop planning every step of the way. Instead, focus on embracing it.

A fulfilling life does not come from your future plans, it comes from within, from being happy with how you choose to embrace the life you were given.

You're the one who controls your happiness. You can be happy if you choose to be, or you can let yourself be miserable.

So fall down, get back up and try again; don't stop until you're 100 percent satisfied.

We seem to forget there is no handbook to life; people on this planet don't know exactly what they're doing.

Everyone is just winging it in hopes of reaching something bigger than themselves, something worth living for, something that'll be memorable.

Until then, don't settle for boring. Embrace the unknown.