Mother's Day is fast approaching, and if you're an obedient and respectful offspring, you've probably already decided what you're getting the woman who raised you for the holiday.
But since millennials aren't exactly known for being either obedient OR respectful, let's just say you haven't.
Have no fear; we have the perfect gift guide for Mother's Day that will infuse you with a newfound appreciation for the woman who gave you life and spark your gift-giving imagination to boot.
Here are 12 types of moms, and what to get her for Mother's Day, based on her zodiac sign.
Aries- The Fiesty Mom
Aries are a fiery bunch, and Aries moms are no different. They maintain their childlike sense of impulsiveness and love of adventure, long past the time when their children leave the nest.
Aries are never at a lack of things to do, so a good gift might be something that reflects that fast-faced lifestyle and fiery attitude, like a day at the roller rink or a bright red lipstick.
Taurus- One Stubborn Mother
Taurus mothers often hear "you never listen!" even more than their children do. They can be a little imposing, mostly because they're stubborn as hell and so set in their ways, but they are beyond loving and devoted to their children. Being a Taurus, they probably have a lot of belongings they can't seem to get rid of.
Hiring a professional home decorator to help them organize their homes and beautify their space could be the perfect gift for Mother's Day.
Gemini- The Mom Who Calls Too Much
Well, sorry Gemini moms, but it's true. Not everyone wants to talk about the neighbors all the time, although your love of gossip is charming as hell, you may need to reel it in once in a while.
Here's a great funny Mother's Day gift idea: Get her a pair of binoculars and a birdwatching journal, and let her fill it in with every observation she makes on the neighbors' habits.
Also get her a new fun gadget, like bluetooth headphones for her morning jogs. Gemini's love gadgets.
Cancer- The Smother-You-With-Love Mother
Good lord. God bless you if your mother is a Cancer. They are the most loving attentive, sweet natured, but ultimately totally smothering moms in the zodiac.
With a Cancer mom, you've got to get her something to show how much you appreciate her, and something that will beautify her home, which is her pride and joy.
A nice Mother's Day bouquet from BloomThat would be perfect, along with a relaxing bath soak, like I got my mom! She LOVES them. She even did a cute little photoshoot and sent me pics.
Leo- The Proud Mama
If you've ever watched a lioness protecting her young, she walks around them proudly, chest out, noble and unafraid. But if one of those baby lions were to forget to get her something on Mother's Day, she would eat them alive, because she deserves to be pampered and she cannot allow that kind of negligence.
A proper gift for a Leo mom would have to be a big showy one, like a night out to the theater or the fanciest restaurant in town where she can tell all the waiters that this is where her son/daughter brought her for Mother's Day.
Virgo- The Mom Who Actually Does Always Know Best
Virgo moms are the ones who told you to wash your hands too much when you would go play at your friends' house. You'd be like, "Lady I've washed my hands a million times since I got here," but then she's flash you a look that said, "don't make me bring up how many times I've seen you eating your boogers in the last four hours," and you'd understand.
Virgos are an earth sign, so give them something practical to work with. One thing they hate is having any downtime. A leather-bound daybook, or a new iPhone with a fancy calendar app would be the perfect thing for Mother's Day.
Libra- The Refined Mom
Librans are ruled by the planet Venus, and they are full of all kinds of fancy ideas. They love art, music, anything they could read about in The New York Times arts section. So grab a copy and check out what's going on for Mother's Day and make sure you plan it out well.
Being a refined tastemaker, I know one thing a Libra mother would love: a subscription to GOOP, run by another Libra mom who shall remain nameless (ahem, Gwyneth Paltrow).
Scorpio- The Micromanager Mom
Scorpio moms are captains of their families, and they refuse to compromise on whatever is most important to them. Why should they? They know what's best.
Intense and possibly a little over-controlling, deep down they need to feel appreciated and loved. They may give tough-love, but they can't take it. They're extremely sweet, sensitive and deeper than the ocean.
Scorpio moms need their private time, so a great idea would be to get them a day at a spa, where they can be alone with their thoughts to recharge.
Sagittarius- The Multi-Cultural Mama
Sagittarius are a global, world-traveling and busy-as-hell. They never stop running from one thing to another, always expanding their horizons and bringing their kids along with them. They love an adventure and rarely stop to rest; they simply don't need to!
So for Mother's Day, bring your Sag mom out to a restaurant to try some cuisine from a country she's never visited. Make sure you get the full "cultural experience." She'll go bananas for it.
Capricorn- The Matriarch
Capricorn moms are as close as we will ever be to a matriarchal society. They work hard for their money, and even harder for their kids. They're also very, very tough to shop for, since they see everything they own as a reflection of themselves.
When it comes to Mother's Day, for Capricorn, go big or never go home again. You need to imagine you're shopping for the Queen of England. Where it comes from and what it's made of is just as important as what it is, and it also needs to be practical.
A new purse from an expensive boutique on 5th Avenue in NYC would be an impressive choice (even if you buy it on eBay.)
Aquarius- The Avant-Garde Mom
Aquarius is the sign of eternal youth, and having an Aquarius mom is one of the greatest gifts bestowed on you by the universe because they're so damn hip. They can shoot the breeze with your friends, they have their own unique sense of style, and they can gab for hours and never lose your attention.
This is one mom you won't have to talk to about how to set up her computer like an Apple specialist. They're technologically gifted, so get her something she can tinker with, like a new fit bit, or a new iPhone if you're made of money.
Pisces- The Artist Mom
Pisces moms put their children on a pedestal. They are the most nurturing, kind, loving and sensitive souls. Their sensitivity comes with a fair amount of natural-born creativity, and they love any form of artistic expression, especially dancing.
Wanna make your Pisces mama happy for Mother's Day? Take her to the ballet, or take her to a mother-daughter/son dance class. Her soul will fucking SOAR with gratitude.