7 Ways To Understand Why So Many Millennials Can't Deal With Change
There are times during your 20s when you think you're drowning. You feel like you literally can't breathe, and you try to come above the water to gasp for air. It's particularly difficult to ascertain who you are when not one aspect of your life will stay the same.
Whatever it is that's in your face as you push little bubbles out of your nose, it's changing: graduating college, starting a job, going to grad school, breakups, new relationships, marriage and babies.
Life is constantly changing, and I know I'm not alone in the fact that I hate change. I hate it when the things I've grown accustomed to are being ripped out from underneath me, whether it's the removal of someone from my life or the fact that my favorite Thai place started charging extra for water chestnuts. (This should be illegal.)
While I can't make someone continue to love me or enforce the sweet couple who owns Thai Express to respect a woman with a budget, I can learn to accept these changes. I feel like I've read a million f*cking articles and books about this, but none of them have done anything except comfort me by letting me know I'm not the only raging bitch who wants to kill someone when she sees her ex has moved on before he's even moved his sh*t out of her house.
Yup, I pick winners. Here are seven reasons why I hate change:
1. I don't like being wrong.
There is nothing more frustrating than believing in something (or someone) wholeheartedly, and then finding out you were wrong about it, him or her. Frankly, it pisses me off.
2. I don't believe in things easily.
It typically takes me a long time to fully trust someone or agree with a principle. As a type-A person, I like to analyze things from each and every angle. I do that at least a dozen times, in order to make sure I didn't miss something.
Yeah, it's a lot. But this means that when I believe in something or someone, I truly do.
3. I don't like conflict.
Many articles I've read tend leave out the fact that a lot of times, change comes as a result of conflict. I hate conflict.
Who actually enjoys having turmoil in his or her life? Any takers? I didn't think so.
I avoid conflict like one should avoid the jungle juice at a frat house. Since two of my least favorite things (conflict and change) often go hand-in-hand, this fuels my disdain for each of them even more.
4. I like comfort.
Right now, you're thinking, “Well, duh. We all do.” But it's a huge reason why I hate change. I love the idea of coming home and waking up next to the same person every day. I love having my favorite tea each morning as I drive to work because it makes me feel good.
When something changes in my life, it is a piece of comfort that's getting ripped away from me. Having something that made you feel so safe, happy and whole suddenly become the cause of your suffering is awful. This switch gives me whiplash.
5. A piece of me dies.
This sounds really dramatic, but it's more common than you would think. When change happens in your life, some part of you dies. It doesn't matter if it's something as small as growing out the bangs you had in college or something as big as breaking up with a significant other: It's hard to say goodbye.
That version or part of yourself is forever gone. It's a really strange thing to stomach.
6. I become vulnerable.
This one depends on the situation. But the anxious butterfly feeling is the same, whether the situation is good or bad.
The idea of putting oneself out there and being rejected is terrifying to most people. This is why asking someone out and public speaking are among our top fears.
There's nothing worse than sharing a piece of yourself, and then being told you're a crazy bitch. But on the same note, there is no better feeling than making a connection with someone thanks to the piece of yourself that you shared. Either way, it's anxiety-inducing, to say the least.
7. It makes me question who I am.
When life pushes you into the pool of change, you have to decide whether to sink or swim. Either put the effort in to keep your head above the surface, or decide to sink like a rock. Whether it's conscious or not, you are forced to make a decision. That decision will involve some self-reflection.
Am I really too sensitive, or do I just have feelings? Do I really need these to frame my face, or am I just following a trend?
When something changes, you have to think about the "why," and it can be a tough mirror to look into. There are probably dozens of other reasons I should add, but these are the ones that stand out for me. I am trying to better understand this so that I can accept change a little easier.
Even though it's hard and scary, change is inevitable. It sometimes can even lead you to something or someone even better. But most importantly, it has the possibility to lead you to an even better version of yourself. What could be better than that?