7 Facts About Your Mid-20s That Prove You're Still A Mess
Don’t get me wrong; there are definite perks to being in your mid-20s.
Our shoe collections are definitely better than they were five years ago.
After years of using the wrong foundation color, we all finally look well-blended and contoured.
After dozens of incredibly drunken nights out, most of us have learned how to handle our alcohol.
Well, sort of, anyway.
Unfortunately, being in your mid-20s is not all high heels and lychee martinis.
Here are seven reasons why your mid-20s can be pretty sh*tty:
1. Hangovers are now a four-day affair.
You still want to drink like a 20-year-old, but you now have the hangover recovery rate of someone much older.
When you were 21, a cup of tea and six strips of bacon were all it took to fend off a hangover.
Now, a bottle of wine will send you into a two-day coma, followed by three days of looking like sh*t.
2. You actually have to go to the gym to stay thin.
There was a time when your “diet” involved having only two slices of pizza before a night out.
At the age of 21, your metabolism was that of an Olympic athlete (pretty damn fast), but in your mid-to-late-20s, a flat stomach requires some hard work.
Life is now all about food prep and smoothie bowls for breakfast.
You pretend to be all about that fitness life, but really, you miss the days when you could eat seven muffins in a row and still have a thigh gap.
3. You’ve been working for eight years, and have zero savings to show for it.
There is a chance you might live with your parents forever. They slightly resent you for this.
If you're lucky enough to earn enough money for a mortgage, you’re still broke because your monthly wages go toward paying that off.
4. People keep saying things like you “only have four more years until you’re 30.”
As if you needed a reminder of your ever-declining youth.
The only thing you have on your side is a ton of moisturizer and the hope that you can be one of those 30-year-olds who still looks 24.
5. You’ve actually started worrying about the future.
When you’re in your early 20s, bad decisions don’t matter.
Nothing matters because you have plenty of time to figure it all out.
Now, you’re older and still just as unsure about everything.
Only this time, you’re closer to 30 than you are to 20, so the fact that your sh*t is still not together kind of freaks you out.
Incidentally, it has occurred to you that school and university might have taught you a lot of things, but how to deal with real life was not one of them.
6. When people ask, “How’s the love life going?” you want to die inside.
Your grandparents keep subtly mentioning how nice it would be to see your wedding day before they die.
You don’t have the heart to tell them that’s unlikely.
Every other person on your Facebook timeline is getting married or engaged, and you’re still trying to decide whether re-downloading Tinder for the fourth time is a good idea.
7. Your favorite mid-week drinking spot is in front of the TV.
There was a time when Thursday was the new Friday and Wednesday night was wine night.
Now, spontaneous mid-week drinks need to be booked three weeks in advance, just so you have enough time to mentally prepare for them.
Five years ago, a casual night out involved coming home drunk on tequila, wearing a hat you stole from a stranger at the bar.
Now, just the thought of tequila makes you want to crawl under a blanket and stay there.
Welcome to adulthood, my friend.