There’s an age-old quote that says, “If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it was always yours. If it doesn’t, it never was.”
In my life, I've gone through just as many friendships as I have underwear. For some reason, I'm just the type of person who is better off on her own. I'm a "free bird," if you will.
Throughout my numerous friendships and circles, I've discovered that I don't hold grudges against the people I've lost touch with. And because of that, I don't have a hard time running into them or rekindling our friendships.
According to Health Magazine, holding grudges against people is very unhealthy. It leads to unnecessary stress and continual unhappiness, and it holds us back from personally evolving.
When you hold a grudge against someone you've lost touch with, you're constantly replaying what went wrong in your mind. You'll find yourself reading old texts, going through the person's social media profiles and feeling a pang of unhappiness when you see her having a great time, without you in her life.
But this all leads to depression, anxiety and stress.
The easy cure to making peace with friendships lost in the process of life? Acceptance.
You have to accept the timing of your life just didn't fit with the timing of hers. When you hold onto the bad blood between you two, it’s guaranteed to only hurt you.
We all must learn the art of letting go. Here are the reasons why:
1. Grudges give the other party the power.
Holding a grudge against someone is like letting her live rent-free in your head.
Most of the time, the other person doesn’t know (and probably doesn’t care) that you’re refreshing her Twitter feed all day, wondering why she doesn't miss you. You owe it to yourself to take control of your life and your emotions.
2. Negativity only weighs you down.
If you’re always fixated on what went wrong in the friendship, you’ll be in a constant state of negativity. A negative mind will never give you a positive life, and no one wants to walk around with a rain cloud over her head all the time.
Instead of looking at what went wrong, think about the good memories, and be thankful they were made when they were.
It’ll always be a story to look back on.
3. Random run-ins won’t be awkward.
If you let go of all of the bullsh*t that went on between you two, it won't be weird when you eventually run into her.
Non-verbal communication is just as vital as verbal communication, and the body tells all. If you’re harnessing a grudge against your ex-friend, it’ll show in your face, posture and overall presence.
Energy is contagious. She’ll pick up on it, and the entire moment will feel like an episode of "The Real Housewives."
4. Nobody likes drama.
When you’re from a neighborhood like mine, where everyone knows everyone, it’s inevitable you two will have mutual friends.
Whenever there’s a birthday celebration or even just a crazy night out, you don’t want to be the one friend who causes drama. If there are no bad feelings, there are no bad vibes. And people don't want bad vibes when they’re trying to have fun.
5. Let yourself be free.
When you stop giving these people so much energy, you can focus that energy on being a better version of yourself.
As clichéd as it sounds, the more energy you put into something, the better the outcome will be.
If you focus your energy on trying to change someone or something you have no control over, you’re wasting that precious time. If you focus the energy on something you can control, you’ll thank yourself later.
If you give yourself time to evolve as a person, you'll realize you should have focused all that energy on yourself a long time ago.