Why Living In New York City Is The Best Way To Learn How To Be Alone

by Ashli T.

As I sit here writing this, I start to think about how lonely it is to live in New York. Anyone who lives in New York can honestly say he or she is alone almost 80 percent of the time.

"Why?" you may ask. Well, New Yorkers work their f*cking asses off. We go to work with a smile on our face and throughout the day, we wonder at least a hundred times how our bodies are still functioning. The anxiety of the subways, walking through the mass crowds, running late to everything (even if you are not even really late) and accepting the fact that you are doing this all alone.

Yes, you may have a couple of people you can call your best friends in the city that never sleeps, but they are on completely different life tracks. I guarantee you every single person you come across has a different story to tell.

There's a beauty to it, but there is also a scary reality. Nobody knows what you are going through, but at the same time, everyone is going through the same thing. You live in this amazing city of dreams with unlimited opportunity, yet you feel like "Why would anyone pick me," or "Why does it feel like I am so alone in a city with thousands of people?”

Ask any New Yorker if he or she has thought these questions, and every New Yorker's answer will be "Yes." You lie there in bed at the end of the night with your thoughts, thinking, "Am I the only one feeling like this?”

You find yourself going to museums, restaurants, movies, parks, pretty much everything all alone, and funny enough, you damn well enjoy it. Yes, you can hang out with your friends, but it may be once a week for that cocktail on a Friday night after a hard workweek of anywhere from 50- to- 80-plus hours. Trust me: Nobody living in NYC is working under 50 hours a week.

Also, the convenience of planning to meet a friend or a significant other is a total hassle. If you are making plans to hangout with somebody in NYC, you sure do love that person or you see him or her as worth it, which is a hell of a lot to say about anyone after living in the city.

Everyone here is out to prove something. You are one in a million -- so it seems in this huge city -- and you are the only person who is going to make your dreams come true. The people who surround you on these streets as you commute on a day-to-day basis do not give one sh*t about you. Yes we are all human and hopefully someone would help you up if you physically fell down or got hurt, but other than that, forget ever seeing that person next to you ever again.

So people, if you see somebody attractive or you meet somebody you think could be worth seeing again, you better make a move ASAP or sayonara, baby, because you are never seeing him or her again.

So after all of this negativity and scary talk about being alone, why is it a good thing? Well, the answer is simply because it makes you f*cking invincible. People go their whole lives trying to be "OK" alone. People who can love themselves and be content with being completely alone are the ones who understand life. They understand their self worth and value. They understand things that people spend their entire lifetimes looking for.

Living in New York City will make you tough, real, honest, and it will make you feel alive being alone. You will realize being alone is a privilege and not something everybody can handle. If you live in New York City, you know what it is like to be alone, and I praise you. You are amazing, and you can do anything you put your mind to, and the best part is that you can do it alone, all by yourself.