Having a close group of three friends can be challenging.
I know a lot of women who prefer having one best friend because they enjoy the simplicity of a duo.
There are challenges to trios.
An extra person makes for a much more dynamic and complex friendship, albeit a profound and wonderful one.
In my opinion, trios can be tricky to navigate, depending on the group.
Sometimes, they just don’t work out.
However, friendships of two often fail as well.
Having two best friends requires double the energy and effort, but it also provides double the rewards.
Three has always been a special number in my life.
I have two siblings, and I know how strong a tripod can be.
Here are the challenges and benefits of having two best friends:
1. Jealousy and insecurity can run rampant.
Like any relationship, there are ups and downs.
There will always be days when you feel jealous or unsure of your place in any friendship.
Here’s where a duo is more simple: You can simply reassure your BFF she’s your number one.
Duos use definitive words and expressions that leave each other knowing exactly where they stand.
What happens when your one friend is jealous of the other third of your trio?
You certainly can’t say, “Don’t feel jealous, Jennifer. You know you're my very best friend.”
It never feels good when your BFFs are spending more time with each other than they are with you.
And they won’t reassure you with the same definitive language you won’t assure them with.
How to get over it? Be proactive.
Don’t do anything that leaves a friend out, and speak up when you’re feeling left out.
Communication is paramount in a trio.
But if your bonds are strong, feelings of insecurity shouldn’t occur too often.
Spend lots of time together, and don't forget one-on-one time.
Real friends are comfortable enough with each other to fight and argue every now and again, and you’re never going to always agree 100 percent.
What fun would that be, anyway?
2. Someone will often be stuck in the middle of a fight.
When your BFFs are fighting and you’re stuck in the middle, things are going to be awkward for a while.
You’re going to have to divide your time between them (and for God’s sake, make sure you divide it equally).
This can also happen when you’re fighting with one of your BFFs, and the third friend is stuck in the middle.
This puts you in an especially awkward position because you’re arguing with your closest friend, and you know your other closest friend isn’t 100 percent on your side because she loves you both equally.
How to get over it? Again, communicate.
The friend in the middle can easily get swept up in the fight.
It’s important for the person in the middle to make the feuding friends aware she is not going to keep secrets from the other, and that she is not getting involved.
The feuding friends should never ask the person in the middle to lie to the other person or take a side.
The feuding friends will work it out as they always do, and you’ll go back to normal.
In a trio, you have to be mature. You have to know and accept the bonds that the others have and be confident in the bonds you share with them individually and together.
There will be times when someone will feel left out.
For these reasons, it’s really important to have good time management skills and planning.
This way, you can make the most of the time you have together.
Now, on to the positives.
1. You always have a peacemaker.
Remember how I said feuding with one of your thirds was a challenge?
It is, but there is a huge benefit to having a third person involved.
That third friend acts as a mediator.
I’ve seen duos fizz out without them giving a damn whether or not they stay friends.
In a trio, each of you have an equal stake.
The non-feuding friend cares that the feuding friends make up, and she ensures peace.
2. Trouble comes in threes (the good kind).
Clubs and parties are much more fun when you go with your squad, even if your squad is only three of you.
Two is better than one.
Imagine you’re at a party with your BFF, and you don’t know anyone else.
What happens when your BFF starts hitting it off with a guy?
You’re left alone because you’re not going to cockblock your friend.
You’re forced to either make friends (not a bad idea, unless you have social anxiety like me), third wheel or stand around awkwardly.
Now you have a second BFF there with you. Crisis averted.
Two BFFs equals double the fun.
3. Someone will always be there.
Sh*t happens, and you'll need your best friend.
Whether you just broke up with your boyfriend, or you got into a fight with your roommate, there are times you need your best friend, like, right now.
But, your best friend has a life, too.
Maybe she lives four hours away like one of mine does, and there’s just no way she can get to you.
When you have two best friends, your chances of one of them being available are doubled.
Having two best friends also means almost never having to spend the weekend by yourself.
Chances are, if one friend is having a date night, your other friend is available to hang out.
If one friend is swamped with finals, your other friend probably has a different exam timetable and is available to chill.
The only downside I’ll mention here is when you’re single and both of your BFFs have boyfriends.
Then you’ve got some competition.
4. You'll have a bigger support system.
Having two best friends means having two people who are extremely invested in your well-being.
You have two people who care about you in a way only best friends can.
You have two people who celebrate your success, empower you, encourage you and support you.