What To Do If A So-Called 'Friend' Gives You A Backhanded Compliment

by Fernanda Calvo
Paramount Pictures

Ah, backhanded compliments. I think it's safe to say that no one like these.

They're ugly little insults poorly disguised as positivity. They're handed to you when you least expect it.

If you let them, they'll ruin your day like a torrential downpour on the day you got a sweet but very expensive blow-out.

If you stop to think for a second and analyze all the backhanded compliments you've received, you'll realize they come from people who are insecure, immature, or competing with you. Honestly, ain't nobody got time for that.

So next time you get a backhanded compliment, don't let it get to you. Here's what you need to remember.

1. You're not competing with anyone.

"Your hat is cute. It makes your head look smaller."

You could easily find yourself dissing the person back and replying with something petty like, " Thanks! I love how drawn-on your eyebrows look. It makes you look like a piece of Picasso-y art".

Gergely Kishonthy

But remember you're not competing with anyone.

This person probably feels intimidated by you, your style, your intelligence, your career, your degree, or something else. Perhaps this person is having a bad day and the only way they can make themselves feel better is by trying to bash you.

Don't stoop to their level. You're classier than that.

2. Be compassionate.

You don't need to make them feel worse than they already do.

Sometimes smiling and letting them have their moment is all the glory they'll ever have.

What about you? You'll have tons of glorious moments in life. Just find it in your heart to allow them to have a measly little moment. It's charity, really.

3. You need to choose better friends.

A real friend will celebrate with you. They won't look for ways to put you down when life is finally giving you a break.

Guille Faingold

They'll celebrate the fact that you finally, after years of perpetual singlehood, found a bae.

If they poke fun at bae for being chubby, older, ugly, or not having the coolest of jobs, they're simply not your real friend.

A real friend celebrates life with you and doesn't go around raining on your parade or looking for ways to make you feel bad about the not-so-good details of your life.

4. It might be time to let go.

If someone is constantly throwing these little jabs at you, it may be time to put an end to your friendship.

Friends come and go. The relationship worked until it started not to, and that's OK.

You shouldn't live your life accepting insults as friendly banter. You shouldn't have to endure micro-abuse from anyone, just because you don't want to lose a friend.

Sometimes words hurt and if a friend cannot see that their words are hurtful, it's probably best to end your relationship peacefully.