I pride myself on the fact that I have an amazing group of friends. They're supportive, fun, intelligent and just generally f*cking great.
They listen to every stupid problem I have, bring my crazy head back to earth when I'm being irrational and make me laugh when I'm having a miserable day. I couldn't ask for a better bunch of people to have in my life.
However, this time last year, most of us were single. I didn't have to worry about not being tied down because I had all these likeminded friends to exchange stories with about Tinder creeps and guys we were talking to (or not talking to). Settling down just wasn't on our radar.
But suddenly, there are only two of us left on the shelf, and now, I'm feeling the pressure. Within the past six months, the majority of my close friends have suddenly coupled off -- one by one -- with some really amazing guys.
Suddenly, they have other priorities, like their other half's family parties and birthdays. Suddenly, I'm playing fifth wheel to my housemates and their significant others. Suddenly, our nights out are getting fewer and far between. They've been exchanged for nights in front of the TV with their boyfriends.
Last weekend, another friend made her relationship official. (I'm only slightly jealous.)
But more than being jealous, I'm just freaked out. I can't and won't commit to just anyone.
I seem to repeatedly find myself in catch 22 situations, where a relationship can never get off the ground. With just two of us singletons left in the group, I'm starting to worry everyone's going to run off into the sunset without me. Yet, they'll still invite me to couples dinner parties out of sympathy, where I'll sit Bridget Jones-style and get too intoxicated on red wine.
Here are four things that are freaking me out the most while I'm watching my friends settle down:
1. I fear change.
I'm anxious everything's going to change. No more lady-centric holidays. No more sleepovers with onesies and cheap vodka.
My friends getting into serious relationships is a constant reminder we're growing up. We're not going to be 25 forever.
2. I fear I'll be the last single one.
Let's face it: No one wants to be the last girl standing, and no one wants to be the girl who realizes she's the only one sleeping alone at night.
It's not nice to feel like everyone is moving forward in life without you. You can barely commit to what you're having for dinner that night, let alone another human being.
3. I fear people's pity.
I'm too proud to have people feeling sorry for me. I have an interesting and exciting life. The fact that I don't have someone to share it with at the moment doesn't make it any less worthwhile.
I don't want my lack of a significant other to be the cause of any sympathetic looks from my friends (or anyone else).
4. I fear we'll grow apart.
How can we stay so close when our lives are pulling us in different directions? This has already happened with some of my married friends.
They don't understand my problems, and I don't understand theirs. I barely even know what a mortgage is, and quite frankly, I can't think of anything I'd want to talk about less.
It's important to remember the grass isn't always greener. People in relationships have moments of being envious of their single friends, too.
Just because it's the right time for your friends to commit doesn't mean it's the right time for you. Don't sit there getting dusty on that shelf. Learn to make the most of your last years of freedom.
You're sleeping starfish tonight, but be thankful there isn't someone fidgeting and snoring next to you. There are years of that ahead of you.
If nothing else, remember that your friends' boyfriends are sure to know a few eligible bachelors.