Feeling Comfortable With Being Alone Is The Best Way To Make Lasting Connections

by Ashli T.

So, you sit there and think about how much everyone means to you or how well life is going, but at the same time, you can't fully understand what is happening in that moment in time or how you even go to this place.

This place being the place you may be brunching at, the spot where you're sitting and reading a book or maybe even the place where you're carrying on a casual conversation, you sit there and you truly try to process what is happening, but you can't.

Why is it so confusing, and why can't you live in the present moment? It's because, well, you need some time to yourself.

Being by yourself is the best thing I have ever learned to do. I love the time I spend with people (many who know me would say I am always with people). But it's the moments in between, where I am completely alone, that I learn the most and truly reflect on everything that's happening in my life at the time.

It seems super sad to be alone or to not have plans on a Friday night. But in reality, the happiest a person can be is in the moments they can recognize their own feelings and truly separate themselves from others. (I think most people would say they enjoy being alone, even when they don't.)

The only way you're ever going to be happy is by learning how not to be — learning what makes you tick and coping with whatever it is right in front of your face.

It sounds a lot easier said than done, but being alone makes you see everything that you might not have been able to if someone else was present and influencing you. It also gives you the space to breathe and self-reflect on everything you have done and want to do.

After a breakup, whether it be from a romantic partner or a toxic friend, you find yourself a little lost. You need to regather your thoughts and feelings in order to be your own again. It's times like these when you learn the most about yourself and how to learn and grow from what you're feeling.

Everyone wishes they never had to actually be alone, until it happens, and they realize how golden the time really is. You get to do whatever you want and say what you feel to yourself. It's seemingly isolating, but isolation, in moderation, is just what the doctor ordered.

It's truly extraordinary because you can soak up all the solo time you have and actually enjoy it. I truly believe it isn't until you can enjoy yourself and own your time that you can be happy in any other place or scenario.

The dreams people have and the things people decide they want are all merely based on the time they've spent alone. Their likes and dislikes are things they've developed in their own time. You define yourself when you're alone, and then you put that self out into the world.

Being alone and having alone time is the only way to really see what you want and figure out a way to get to it.

Being alone doesn't have to mean being sad and lonely like in the movies, or that you dislike being around people and society. It just means you realize you can grow and appreciate your time without anyone one else or any certain place imposing on you.

Take the time to get to know yourself and to learn to be happy by yourself. Once you find that internal place of happiness, the rest will fall into place.

So, next time you find yourself spending some time alone, cherish it and see what you can learn from it. Chances are, you'll end up bringing yourself to one of the happiest places you'll ever be — and you'll need that place every year for the rest of your life.

It will make everything else that much easier to fall into place once you're in a good place alone.