Those anxiously flapping butterflies you get in your stomach before going off to college are almost uncontrollable. But what happens when you consider leaving without the high school sweetheart who gave you butterflies throughout the past four years of your life? It can be a torturous thought to wrap your head around.
Since none of us can tell the future (besides the fact that we're going off to college), debating whether or not you should break up with your SO can seem tremendously complicated. You'll pace back and forth with the idea that neither of you want to hold each other back. You also don't want the other person putting their life on pause, because that would be selfish.
Why the heck can't this play out like the romantic comedies we swoon over? That way, we can fast-forward to the part where everything magically works out in the end, because we want it to. Sadly, even if the hopeless romantic in you wants to use a movie as a point of reference, it's unrealistic.
Determining if you should break up with your high school sweetheart shouldn't be left up to chance. You were emotionally invested in this person for quite some time. So, respectfully and maturely (this can be super hard, I know), you should consider all of the options before you make a decision.
Every relationship is worlds different.
That couldn't be more true. As much as we want to think we can take advice from someone else in the seemingly same boat, we're all facing different currents. It will keep boiling down to what's best for the people in the relationship.
Dating and relationship coach, Chris Armstrong, doesn't necessarily suggest dumping your high school sweetheart just because you're headed to college. He explains there are a few things that need to be considered and done before any final decisions are made.
One of his suggestions says,
Let things happen as they will, this instead of trying to hold on or let go. This includes new potential love interests that may come into our lives. Do not resist them just because we have a high school sweetheart.
Where are both of your heads at? If the two of you don't think you're mature enough to carry on a relationship through college, well, there's your answer. College really is that gray area where you don't know what to expect because you've never done it before.
Don't assume that you won't change.
High school and college are two completely different rodeos. In the process, you're going to go through so much self-growth. This isn't to say you completely forget your past, but your outlook on life may change, and so do your feelings and how you perceive yourself.
Armstrong explains that when we're in high school, we know a limited amount about love and relationships. This has to do with our age and our experiences so far. It's not necessarily our fault, per say.
He tells Elite Daily,
We know so little and yet we very often let our heart overcome our head and we lose so much potential and opportunity along the way.
Seems like a lot of alterations going on, right? It is. That's all the more reason you should realize you both are going to be changing and growing up. You probably won't be the same people who you each met back in high school.
Having a high school sweetheart is beautiful and rare. At the end of the day, you have to invest in what's best for the both of you and not a magical fairytale. You owe it to one another to be open and honest about where you're emotionally headed in this next chapter of your life, even if it's not with each other.