Don't Self-Destruct: What It Feels Like To Be Your Own Worst Critic
We are never good enough.
It's seems that no matter what we achieve or how we live our lives, this is the message we always receive. We are constantly chasing this idea of "perfection," yet we cease to remind ourselves that it does not even exist.
And because of this, we cannot accept our mistakes; we beat ourselves up over even the smallest of indiscretions.
It isn't that we don't like ourselves or necessarily even consider ourselves as "insecure" — we just always want more from ourselves. Somehow, we convince ourselves that we need to be better and we need to do more.
Sure, we can take compliments, but they don’t always resonate inside of us and sometimes, they just go in one ear and out the other.
But on the contrary, if someone criticizes us in any way, shape or form, we always believe them.
It is as if we have our own set of double standards, as we tend to accept the fact that others around us aren't perfect, yet we can't stand that we aren't either.
Don’t get me wrong; sometimes this can be a great thing, as we will always push ourselves to achieve more and become better individuals.
But for the most part, feeling as though you don't live up to your own impossible standards is not only emotionally draining, but it isn't a positive way to live your life either.
From a young age, most of us are raised to treat others with nothing but kindness and respect. Sometimes, we wouldn't even think of talking to others as we talk to ourselves.
We are lenient, patient and often allow others to break our spirit. Why? Because our inner voices so easily waver based on other's opinions.
How do we expect to be resilient and not let the actions of others impact us if our own inner voices don't come to our defense?
In a perfect world, we would each be our own number-one fan and live our lives with not an ounce of doubt or inhibition. We would thrive from within, and not let others discourage us because we know deep down that we are good enough.
It is a hard pattern change, as we don't necessarily want to be completely content with where we are because we still want to learn, grow and change. We simply want to feel like where we currently are in our lives is okay.
We want to know that we have our own backs in every situation, where our strengths are tested and character questioned. And most importantly, we want to believe in ourselves more than the people around us do.
No, we don't want to be arrogant or feel as though we are better than those around us; we simply just want to feel good enough for ourselves.
As impossible as this may seem, it is achievable. In order to break this destructive pattern of self-destruction, catch yourself in the act and ask yourself, "Would you talk to others this way?"
The answer is most likely always no. We must learn to focus on all that is good about our identities and realize that every single person on this earth is merely a work in progress.
We weren’t designed to be perfect or flawless in any sense of the word. Yet, we are meant to see ourselves as an entire package, containing the good, the bad and everything in between.
We can't continue to rely on the approval of others, as we are meant to know within ourselves that we are strong, we are human and we bring our own unique assets to the world.
None of us were born a masterpiece, and we all doubt ourselves from time to time because let's face it: We are only human.
But, being your own worst critic will only leave you feeling defeated and unworthy because if you aren't good enough for yourself, will you ever let yourself be good enough for anyone else?
Of course we should remain humble and view ourselves in an honest light, but sometimes, there is nothing honest about what we tell ourselves.
We can choose to view our mistakes, flaws and imperfections as a reason to beat ourselves up, or we can use it as an opportunity to learn, grow and accept ourselves for all that we are rather than just all of our downfalls.
Throughout our lives, we will make mistakes, we will disappoint ourselves and from time to time, we will feel as though we aren't good enough. But, we will also do great things, achieve great successes and be great individuals from all that we have learned along the way.
After all, if those closest to us deserve to be loved unconditionally, don’t we?