Dear Moms: 8 Reasons We Love You Even When We Hate You
When we’re little girls, you're our idols. We look to you for all of our basic needs, but we also look UP to you. For one, you’re way taller than us at that point. But more than that, you are Wonder Woman to us.
As we start growing up, things get decidedly more…contentious. Conflict constantly bubbles below the surface.
You aren’t a full-time Wonder Woman anymore. Instead, you transform into Public Enemy #1 when you enforce a curfew or give an unwanted piece of advice. Every comment is fodder for another fight – another opportunity to say something we both don’t mean.
The complicated nature of our relationship can be overwhelming at times, but it doesn’t negate the one thing we know to be true: Our relationship is built on the foundation of love, and that will never change.
We may not love the advice you give, but we know you want us to learn from your mistakes.
We are convinced that what we’re going through is completely unique to our generation. You couldn’t possibly understand. So, as for your advice? It can’t be right. You don’t know what it’s like to live in our shoes.
In spite of the generation gap, there are certain experiences that are universal, though. You’ve been through the trials and tribulations of love and getting your life on track, and you want us to learn from the mistakes you've made.
You see the train wrecks we can potentially encounter, and you want to save us.
We roll our eyes when you’re critical of us, but we know you believe in our potential.
It’s not easy for us to hear your criticisms. They cut into us like a sharp knife, mostly because you know us better than we know ourselves. And you know our potential better than we do.
We feel lost and unsure of what we can achieve. But you've always believed that the sky is the limit, and you want to push us to that point.
We’re so over how much you call us, but we know you miss us.
We’ll be honest. Sometimes we screen your calls. Sometimes we just don’t feel like catching up when nothing has happened since our last chat earlier in the week.
But we know why you do it. You miss us. We miss you too. That’s why we call you back a few minutes later.
We hate when you needle us about our careers, but we know you just want us to do what we love.
We put up walls whenever you mention the word “career.” It’s the last thing we want to talk about with you. We tell you times have changed, and you don’t know what it’s like out there.
Deep down, though, we understand why you’re needling us. You want to make sure we have a plan, and help us build the path to success. And you want us to find success while doing something we love.
We act annoyed by our family outings, but we know it’s important to spend time together.
We can think of literally a thousand things we’d rather do than go to our cousin’s graduation party. We’re annoyed that you always guilt us into attending family events instead of hanging out with our friends.
But, once we’re actually with our families, we’re always happy to be there. We realize that these moments are what bond all of us together.
We can’t stand when you set us up, but we know you’re just trying to find someone that deserves our love.
Dates are the LAST thing we want your help with. Why can’t you understand how demoralizing it is for you to set us up? How pathetic are we that we need our moms to find us significant others?
We see how happy you are with our dads, though – or, conversely, how unhappy you were, and how you want more for our relationships. We’re pretty sure we will have no interest in anyone you choose for us, but we know there’s a possibility that you’ll see something we don’t.
We fight you when you set boundaries, but we know you’re trying to protect us.
We think we’re bold when we push the limit. We think we’re ready for the consequences of our actions. After all, that's how we learn, right?
But you know better. You’ve been there, and you know the world of hurt that we can encounter. All you're trying to do is protect us from making avoidable mistakes.
We may not say it out loud, but we know no one will ever love us like you do.
Your unconditional love and support are unparalleled. We understand that no one will ever love us as much as you do.
And that unconditional love goes both ways. We just don't tell you as much as we should. We’re not good with emotional outpourings – and besides, we think you should just inherently know by now.
But we love you for what you’ve done for us, and what you continue to do for us. We love you for the person you are and the person you've helped shape us to be.
The mother daughter relationship is complex, but no matter what, the bond that is shared is irreplaceable. Check out the complicated, emotional and loving mother daughter relationships on Oxygen’s “Fix My Mom.” The new series premieres Tuesday, October 27 at 9/8c.