23 Dad Jokes You’ll Always Appreciate, Even If They Make You Roll Your Eyes

by Alexandra Strickler

I have a sneaky suspicion dads were put on this planet for one reason, and one reason only: to make dad jokes.

Seriously, though. During the majority of conversations with my dad, it feels as if he's literally just waiting for an opportunity to slip in a terrible pun or a corny joke, even if it's wildly out of context.

But, I'll admit, I'm not complaining about it in the slightest. I'm a sucker for a terrible pun, no matter how deeply my eyes roll into the back of my head.

With Father's Day coming up, it's only fitting to round up the best (and by best, I obviously mean worst) dad jokes the men of this world have to offer.

So, without further ado, here are 23 amazing, yet simultaneously terrible, dad jokes everyone can appreciate.

1. Is this pool safe for diving? I don't know, it deep ends.

2. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.

3. "Dad, I'm hungry." "Hi Hungry, I'm Dad."

4. What's the difference between a piano, a tuna, and a tub of glue? You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna. What about the tub of glue, you ask? I knew you'd get stuck on that part.

5. What's Harry Potter's favorite way to get down a hill? Walking. JK. Rolling.

6. A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."

7. How do you make a Kleenex dance? You put a little boogie in it.

8. Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

9. What's Forrest Gump's password? 1forrest1.

10. What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye, matey!

11. Why did the "A" go to the bathroom and come out as an "E?" Because he had a vowel movement.

12. Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the pee is silent.

13. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.

14. What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.

15. Why can't you have a nose that's 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.

16. "Dad, did you get a haircut?" "No, I got them all cut."

17. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck.

18. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea.

19. What did the buffalo say to his son when he went off to college? Bison.

20. Have you heard about the new movie Constipation? No? That's because it never came out.

21. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs lying in front of your door? Matt.

22. You know why I love the rotation of the Earth? Because it really makes my day.

23. Would you like to hear a construction joke? I'm still working on it.