Your Fear Of Having Children: How Rational Is It?

by Victoria Wolk

You’re being called into a huddle to view yet another laughing, hiccuping, toppling-over-baby video, but realize that you would much rather be watching the golden retriever 24 hour cam. You have never understood the fascination with kids. Sure there might be a cute factor, but what if you were that child’s parent?

Dealing with all the snot, poop, and money flying out of all your crevices until you’re dried out. That doesn't really sound ideal right now.

You’re still trying to figure out if you’re a kid or an adult. You enjoy having a job, your own things, and the ability to go out and grab a drink with friends. You also enjoy a Saturday wearing sweats, blasting music, and dancing with your dog while you pretend to clean.

When someone asks you to hold a child you suddenly have a Rachel Green moment from Friends, holding the little thing like a football as far away from you as you can.

Children, babies, the like, freak you out. You will donate to any foundation for kids, and be polite to those with kids, but as far as thinking of kids in your own future you are running as fast as you can from that thought.

A fear of children is actually called Pedophobia. Some have it so severe they go to psychiatrists for treatment. If you believe that children are going to hurt you or you are having uncontrollable anxiety attacks, you might consider seeing someone.

However, more commonly we fear children because of responsibility (financial and daily), we think we may never be good parents, we may pass down too many bad traits or genes, or really we just never saw children in our future.

As we grow older, this imaginary pressure starts to build whether we are already settled down or not. There is an expectation to have children, to keep the family line going, and for women to use their eggs while they still have them.

There’s a little problem though. Remember, you’re not even sure of your age right now. It’s fun to still have your kid moments and be an adult. You have your career to build and relationships to cultivate. Maybe you’re still searching for someone to spend your life with. You want to travel.

You have a long list of goals to accomplish and right now these videos of babies are only making you cringe. This is perfectly okay. It’s okay to ignore the pressure and to go on living life as you wish.

Eventually, bear with me here, when the time is right or pops up, you will ease into the idea of having your own kids. Whether they were created from your own genes or adopted, the idea of having kids will get easier.

Right now though, it’s okay to be afraid of these tiny human beings. Go ahead and support all your friends who are happily getting married and successfully having kids.

For an interesting new experience, walk into a baby store, only to realize you have no idea what you just did. In situations like these, it is best to frantically run out and search for your friends’ baby gifts online.

Everyone is entitled to lead his or her life as he or she wishes to. Your friends happen to have fallen in love and realized they were ready to have children. They have a list of goals that they too will accomplish in due time.

You simply have a fear of kids. You might be in love with a significant other or might still be learning how to love life. Everyone is in a different stage and your fear of kids is okay.

Don’t freak out by trying to keep up with friends and try to keep your cool when your parents tell you it might be time to freeze your eggs soon. You are doing you. Kids happen to not be on your list of goals right now.

You can’t picture them in the near future. You aren’t even attracted to them. Someday though, this might change. But for now, your fear of children is rational.

Top Photo Courtesy: Instagram