They say nothing in life is free -- but working from home definitely is. You get to earn attendance points without ever having to leave your bedroom.
Adult snow days are rare; there has to be a perfect mix of menacing weather forecasts and mass hysteria to shut down an entire office, which makes them so particularly gratifying. Well, that and the fact that you can conduct a buttoned-up business meeting without pants on.
If there’s one thing the world needs more of, it’s adult snow days. Sorry Californians, maybe next year.
Here’s why working from home is the ultimate adult snow day:
1. It’s perfectly acceptable to conduct work in your Snuggie
The Underwear Patrol isn't around to police you for not wearing pants. You can conduct a serious two-hour meeting with your boss totally naked and s/he would have absolutely no idea, totally redefining what it means to "feel comfortable around the office. " Just remember to leave the video turned off.
2. The only commute is from your bed to your fridge
You don't have to stress about the mercurial subway schedule and making it to the office on time. The most work you'll do today is mustering enough effort to get out of bed and make yourself a sandwich. There will still be traffic jams though, like stopping to heat your Easy Mac on the way back from your pantry.
3. You can get to work on your extracurricular activities...
You can get your work done with your number one reliable cuddle buddy in tow. Nothing gives you motivation to finish like having your partner by your side -- and under your sheets. Remember that boardroom fantasy you two have been half-joking about role-playing? Well, technically this is your new office....
4. Blaming the WiFi is a legitimate excuse for not being productive
Somehow though, the Netflix is streaming just fine. Especially during times of inclement weather, it’s totally feasible to say that the Internet in your area is down. No one knows your zip code, right? And even if anyone did, God blessed us with a notoriously unstable, faulty cable company, Time Warner Cable. It might not work all the time, but the excuse definitely does.
5. You can take that midday gym class you’ve always wanted that’s only filled with stay-at-home moms
It’s a form of worker’s discrimination that your gym only offers Pilates during the day. You can use your “lunch hour” to work out instead. It’s a win for everyone: You break a sweat, fellow gym-goers will wonder what kind of high-paying, minimally demanding job you occupy, and your colleagues won’t be able to smell your return.
6. You are technically getting paid to sit in bed all day
Not only do you have reduced responsibilities, but you also have way less stress outside of an office setting. Leaving your computer to go to the bathroom doesn’t come with the same death stares that you’re accustomed to receiving in the office. You’re making money and you don’t even need to show up.
7. The first bowl of the morning doesn’t have to be cereal…
You can finally test out that theory if working high helps your creative process, without having to risk a horrifying bug-out in front of your coworkers (who are all probably doing the same thing). Without proof (AKA don’t go bragging to your work bestie you got high on a school day), you’re totally free to take it to the next level, so to speak.
8. Your alarm is set three minutes before work starts
Why snooze when you can actually sleep? Working from home is like watching the children’s version of The Food Network -- there’s no prep time needed.
9. Lunch comes from your fridge
Who said it even needed to be lunch, singular? You enjoy multiple lunches from your fully-stocked fridge without having to curse that a side of dressing costs an extra $1.50. Any accoutrements, condiments or utensils are all readily accessible. You don’t have to plan each component ahead or eat a sandwich that’s gone soggy.
Snacking (or trying to avoid it) during work has never been easier. Did we also mention feeling like a respectable human being without typing in a pile of crumbs?
10. You don’t have to see that person you hate
It’s easier to pretend like he doesn’t exist when he’s not sitting directly across from you. Adult snow days are wonderful not only because you have off from work, but also because you have off from working to control your anger around your loathsome colleague. Wouldn’t it be great if only he had to go to the office? Ugh, he probably did anyway.
11. You have time for a morning/ afternoon/ other afternoon quickie
There’s no phony doctor’s appointment or immediate emergency except the one in your pants, over and over again. You might not accomplish much on an adult snow day, but you definitely put in work.
12. You can watch television in the background
You can have your friends over! You can throw a party! You can defecate on the ceilings! You can literally do whatever you want and it just feels more special because you’re technically supposed to be at work, working. AND YOU’RE NOT!
13. You don’t have to shower
In fact, we know you probably won’t.
14. You can drink
Everything is always more fun when alcohol is involved, so why can’t you do this in the office? Look, look how much happier you are! It’s almost like you’ve finally achieved that thing called “Work-Life Balance.”
15. You can multi-task
You can check off all those pesky little household errands from your to-do list. With the extra focus normally reserved for work, you can effectively complete all your laundry, cleaning and sorting of sweaters. Sure, this doesn’t sound like a fun snow day, but have you seen number 14?
16. It proves how much more productive you are working from home than in the office
You’ve tried this argument so many times. This is your compromise.